


Voices In the Dark

by LadyNocheEterna



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Online Dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 08:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 31,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20542937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyNocheEterna/pseuds/LadyNocheEterna
Summary: "It's like the weirdest love story ever if you ask me" Dave murmurs before taking another sip of his iced coffee."Well, I didn't ask you, did I?" Carlos retorts, biting his lower lip.





	1. Love Notes

It all starts with a simple note.

Carlos has been at the library for a while now, it being one of his favorite spots in campus, reading a comic book. He has since long finished his assignments for the coming week and decided that a break would do him good. He isn’t alone, of course, his friends, Rochelle and Nilanjana are with him, both girls had also decided on taking a break themselves, so that’s why the first one was retouching her already flawless make-up and the latter was playing a game on her cellphone.

His roommate and best friend, Dave, was supposed to meet them there so they could do to some more revision in preparation for an upcoming test and maybe make a quick trip to a nearby coffee shop afterwards, Carlos could use a little caffeine boost and a sugary treat.

Dave arrives shortly after, a bit later than they agreed upon, yes, but with some Styrofoam cups with steam rising of them and a bag of freshly baked goodies. The library has a very flexible policy where food and drinks are concerned, as long as you left the place as tidy as it was when you came in, you could bring anything you want, from a small coffee cup to a twelve-course meal. This policy does _wonders_ for the students on Finals season.

“Dude” he says, in that casual way of skipping the formalities that often happens between close friends when there are huge news to tell as he sat next to Rochelle and across from Carlos and Nilanjana. “I just met the _dreamiest_ guy I’ve ever seen”.

If you attend the University of What It Is, you would know that is on the top of most of the most wanted list of places to enroll for a further education not only due to their high ranking prestige or their generous scholarship programs, but because is a very welcoming place for students of all races, ethnics, genders and sexualities. Carlos himself had never seen such a mix of cultures and backgrounds in one place, a really huge paradigm shift from the very sheltered and very catholic all-boys high school he attended in his home country of Venezuela before his family moved to the United States. 

He and his little group of friends fit here, and Carlos knows they wouldn’t anywhere else. It’s not a secret that all of them are either queer or immigrants or children of immigrants or racial minorities or all of the above. The Venezuelan boy was surprised at how easy it was to be out in college as opposed to his strict high school, his parents weren’t surprised when he came out before he went off to college (even though he had the slight suspicion that they already knew he was gay somehow).

“Oh, really?” Rochelle asks, always down to hear Dave talk about his crushes, be it a boy, a girl or something in between, as she stirs some sugar into her tea. “What’s his name?

“I’ve no idea, but he has the cutest face ever”.

“Is this the part where you tell us you were staring into a mirror all along?”

“Oh, how funny, Carlos!” Dave retorts, voice dripping with sarcasm as he rolls his eyes. “You’re hilarious, man; you should drop the Science program and do stand-up Comedy instead”

“Weren’t you dating that girl from your and Rochelle’s Chemistry class?”

“No, Nils, she broke up with me when she found out that I fancy dating people with a dick every once in a while”.

“What an airhead” Rochelle snorts in disgust.

“A cute one, though” Dave concedes, pursuing his lips, before perking up and smirking at his friends, “but of course she isn’t as cute as the stud-muffin from the coffee shop”.

“Where in the world do you keep finding all this cute guys?” Nilanjana demands to know. “Can’t you bring yourself to show some solidarity to your straight friend and point me in the right direction? I spend some much time with you gay people that I can’t even recognize a straight man anymore”.

Before Dave can answer with any of his trademark witty comments, the librarian approaches their table, they know her by name, _Josie Ortiz_, and she knows their names as well, given that she sees them almost on the daily. She doesn’t look a day older than twenty-something, but none of them are sure how old is she since most of them had started in the college after she became the head librarian, but even Rochelle, who is already pursuing her second degree, has never seen other librarian that isn’t Josie running the place. They exchange pleasantries and she smiles as she slides a neatly folded paper on the table in Carlos’ direction. He stares at her, confusion dancing in his eyes as she nods and gestures for him to take the note.

“A friend of mine came by to see me today” she explained as Carlos pushes his big round glasses further up the bridge of his nose and reads the note. “He is… a little shy”.

“Is this for real?”

“Well, duh, Carlos, what do_ I_ get out of pranking you so cruelly?” she winks as she turns around to leave. “This place doesn’t run itself, so let me know if you would like me to give my friend any messages back”

Silence falls over the table for a few seconds until Rochelle giggles, prompting Dave to laugh and Nilanjana to throw her arms dramatically towards the sky in a desperate gesture with a groan.

“What?” Carlos squeaks.

“You and Dave have all the men in this goddamn University behind you! That’s what!” the girl next to him complains. “All the good men are either taken or gay!” Rochelle and Dave laugh louder.

“Umm… Josie… she said _he_, right?” he asks, trying to change the subject and, honestly? It's mostly to make sure he heard right.

“Well, darling, I don’t think many girls are going to be leaving you love notes with that rainbow flag sewed onto the shoulder of your flannel” Rochelle _helpfully_ points out.

“Oh…” he manages to let out, just as Dave snatches the note from him. “Hey!”

The boy with black hair clears his throat, like he is a preacher about to give a lecture and, pushing himself and the note away from Carlos’ reach, he begins to read. 

“_Forgive my forwardness, but you have the most gorgeous smile I’ve ever seen_, aww! Dude, that’s cute as fuck!” he gushes as he hands the note back to Carlos, who takes it without looking at him. “Do you guys think is anyone we know?”

The Venezuelan boy doesn’t answer, he just stares at the note like it holds the answers to the universe while his friends discuss who could possibly be this secret admirer of his (even thinking it makes his face warm up and confusion makes itself known in him again, who in their right mind would like _him_ of all people?).

Josie herself said that this wasn't a joke, that sparks his curiosity, which is a fundamental thing to have when you're studying to become a scientist. Who sent the note? Why? What does he look like? Is it really, as Rochelle called it, a _love note_? And, more importantly, _did he mean what he said?_

He zones back in the conversation where Rochelle proposes that it must be someone from Carlos’ Advanced Calculus class, given that is the only one he doesn’t share with any of his friends.

“What if it’s not any of our classmates?” Nilanjana proposes instead. “Like, what if someone we don’t know was just passing by and decided to let Carlos know he thinks he has a cute smile?”

“Damn, that’s like straight out of a fanfic!”

“Like you and the, quote, _stud-muffin from the coffee shop_?”

“I love you, Roch, I really do, but, for the sake of our friendship, _don’t_”

“Nils, can I borrow your pen?” Carlos asks, drawing everyone’s attention towards himself, he shrinks in his seat as his friends stare while the girl gives him what he asked for, the Venezuelan boy stares at the paper to avoid his gazes as he flips it over.

“Are you going to do what I think you’re about to do?” Dave asks quietly, but clearly excited.

Carlos gives him a shaky smile and, when his friends encouragingly smile back he nods firmly and writes an answer:

_Hi! My name’s Carlos, what’s yours?_


	2. Radio Drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was that a confession?

“His name is Cecil”.

“Oh, that’s it! Dude, I feel bad, you keep telling me and I keep forgetting it!” Dave says with a wince, making Carlos laugh.

They just finished taking a quick lunch break after their shared General Physics I class and are heading towards a small local store that happens to be a few blocks from the University. The weather is warm, given that is June and the walk towards the store is pleasant, filled with jokes and conversation. The store turns out to be a simple brick building painted in black, with a (now off) neon sing: _Dark Owl Records_.

“I think this is the place” Carlos mutters, mostly to assure himself as Dave nods in reassurance and opens the door.

There’s music in the air, a soft-ballad in Spanish that Carlos feels like he should recognize from somewhere, but can’t quite pinpoint…

_…Amor es querer encontrar y perderse queriendo salir y entrar. Yo creo que se trata de algo divino, te veo, sonrío y da positivo. Yo no quiero nada, yo te quiero ver, verte como haces y cómo deshaces. Todo lo que tengo es este amanecer, nunca tuve nada, ¿y qué? Te necesito otra vez, amar es simple lo sabes, se dice sin decir lo es…_

A girl behind the glass counter turns upon hearing the bell that hangs by the door as it opens. How did she do that with the loud music on, they have no idea, but she does turn it off as she faces them. She has short cerulean hair, shaved on one side but long down to her chin on the other side, she has a labret piercing, and is wearing yellow lipstick and a burgundy shirt with the logo of what Carlos thinks must be a band —this is a records store, after all—, but he is sure he has never heard of _Theatre des Vampires._

“We’re closed” she grunts. “Didn’t you see the sign?”

“That sign?” Dave asks, cocking an eyebrow and pointing with at the red sign on their side of the door saying, _We’re closed, you dumbass,_ which, to be honest, is a bit aggressive for Carlos’ taste.

“Ugh, dammit, Michelle!” she chastises, before stomping from behind the glass counter and past them to flip the sign. “_This_ is what having a girlfriend does to you, turns your brain to mush and you forget to turn the goddamn sign!” she turns towards them, huffing as she crosses her arms. “Well, you two are already here, what can I do for you or whatever” she mutters it in a way that’s not a question and with a bit of bitterness on her tone.

Carlos immediately feels the need to apologize.

“Oh, I’m-… I’m sorry, someone we know told us we could come here to-”

“Did Josie sent you?” she asks, recognition sparking in her orange eyes (probably contacts), Carlos nods. “So, you’re Carlos and Dave, then?” another nod and the girl smiles smugly. “Good, she told me you would come by, what can I do for you?”

Carlos explains that he is looking to buy a small portable radio, small because it’s for a dorm and all that, as Dave browses through the store, seeing if anything catches his eye.

“Ugh, you still listen to radio?” says the moody girl that seems to manage the store by herself, it’s kind of weird to him; she seemed to be the owner but there’s no way she could be older than he is.

“Uh, yeah I guess” is the clever answer he had managed to give as she lays some options for him to pick over the counter. Then, suddenly feeling the need to defend himself he added: “I-I-, um, I think it’s perfectly normal, more people should listen to radio”, the girl smirks again.

“No shame in doing so, my man! My baby is doing an internship in the local community station, earns her college credits for her journalism degree, so I listen to it sometimes” Carlos nods and smiles at how the girl’s eyes seem to shine behind the contact lenses. “I will take a wild guess and say that’s the station you’re looking for?” he smiles widely and nods again, more eagerly this time. “Good, I will give you a little note with which number you have to put on the dial, okay?” without waiting for an answer she sticks a post-it note to one of the devices and scribbles something quickly. “There, would you and your friend like anything else?”

“Actually, yes, I will take this too!” Dave intervenes cheerfully as he places a CD on the counter next to the selected radio. 

Carlos cocks an eyebrow at the album cover, where a surrealism background surrounds a blond woman dressed in all black and silver letters say the name of the album is _Leitbild_. The owner, whose nametag he just notices says _Michelle_ frowns.

“Didn’t know they’ve become popular, I will have to find something new to listen, _tsk_”.

“You stop listening to music when people like it?” the blue eyed boy asks in surprise and Carlos can only look at the girl hoping for an answer to this curious happening.

“Well, _duh_! I run this place, and while some music is great, there’s always new music to discover that nobody has heard before, and that is the beauty of music, finding a new sound that awakens something in you, so powerful that you just want to keep it to yourself! Or… maybe you choose to share it with that special someone” he finishes paying (thanks to Josie they even get a thirty percent discount) and Michelle smiles sweetly at them. “You two have a good day or whatever” she quickly adds with a chuckle and, this time, her words sound genuine.

Several hours later, it’s night and, while the both of them are usually asleep by now because of their academic schedules, it’s Friday anyways, so they guess it’s okay to stay until late. It’s deep into the night and Carlos is fumbling with the small portable silver radio he got at Dark Owl Records. Dave stares at him from across the narrow room, from his own bed, tucked up to his chin. He places the small device on his bedside table with the volume turned all the way up. Jazz music is playing and, according to the website of the local community radio, coming up is a radio drama called _Welcome to Night Vale_, the name is more than strange, but, and here is the kicker that has Carlos awake at this ungodly hour, the star of the show is a man named _Cecil Palmer_. He smiles.

“I think you have a crush on him, which is weird, considering you don’t know what he looks or sounds like” Dave comments before yawning. “Man, this drama better be good!”

Carlos lies back in the cold sheets of his bed and shivers a little at the temperature change; it’s a bit hot tonight, but not as hot as to keep the window open. He frowns at his friend as the blue eyed boy rolls over to lie on his stomach, he imitates him. They’ve fairy lights hanging above both of the beds, so they can see each other rather well

“No, Dave, we’re just friends, plus it’s not like I know what your boyfriend looks like either”

The thing with Cecil had only begun with that note of his. After a few days of the original one, a response to the one Carlos’ sent back came, this one had Cecil introducing himself and, again apologizing for his forwardness, he left him his phone number. Then, they started talking (or rather, texting, since Carlos is not very fond of phone calls), the other man apparently found Carlos’ love for science to be endearing and he thought that Cecil’s love for horror literature was quirky but in an adorable way. They talked almost every day, and the Venezuelan boy is starting to believe he may or may not have a crush on Cecil, but Dave is right, he has never seen or heard him, how could he know for sure? Yes, he found his dark sense of humor and weird shitposts on Tumblr endearing but… that’s only images and words on the screen of his smartphone.

He had recently found out that Cecil works in the local community radio, he does the evening news and, twice a month, he hosts a radio drama, and, when Carlos mentioned his interest in hearing him a couple days ago, Cecil had insisted in him waiting until the 15th so he could hear his show instead, which is written exclusively by him. It didn’t take much to convince Carlos, the idea of listening to Cecil in the middle of the night while in bed, seemed more… intimate, somehow,_ I will have a special surprise in store for you, dear Carlos. You know, just to know if you’re paying attention ;)_, he had said to him via text. Plus, apparently the evening news are at the same time the cafeteria serves dinner for the students on the full scholarship program, so he and Dave are there at that moment.

“You wanna know what he looks like? Well, for starters, he is rugged” Dave says and Carlos cocks an eyebrow at him. “Freckles as far as the eye can see, short messy hair, he is pretty tall too and, _god_, he has the most dreamy eyes ever. He looks like a fucking dream come true!” he sighs, clearly lovesick as he sinks into his pillow and Carlos shakes his head, really hoping to not look like that when he is talking about Cecil. 

Dave had started dating his _stud-muffin from the coffee shop_ almost… what? Two months ago? Has it really been that long? Well, he then has been talking to Cecil for almost as long.

The host of the jazz program, a man that sounds like he had way too many cigarettes, bids the listeners good night and _good luck_ with what comes next, the boys share a look at that, but continue to listen none the less. Carlos turns so he is lying on his back and clutches the comforter one of his grandmas, the one who still lives in Venezuela, crocheted for him as a good luck gift when he moved to the States, in anticipation. He bites his lower lip, he doesn’t even know what he is expecting, he had never paid much attention to voices before.

_“A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful and mysterious light pass overheard when we all pretend to sleep… Welcome to Night Vale”._

Carlos gasps, without being able to stop himself from doing so, he thinks Dave is going to mock him for it, but the whispered _Holy shit_ his friend lets out is more than enough to convince him otherwise. He barely registers the words that are coming from the radio as he closes his eyes and relaxes; Cecil’s voice is extremely soothing and calms him down like nothing has done before. He hums happily, he has never been very picky with what he listens, be it music or the radio, but if he had to pick something, a single sound to hear for the rest of his life, it has to be Cecil’s voice.

Okay, he is exaggerating, but only because he woke up more than twelve hours ago and is slightly sleep deprived.

He keeps listening and would be lying if he said the part with the hooded figures isn’t creepy, but he is immediately distracted by the news of a mysterious man in a beautiful… coat? Is… Is that the surprise? Cecil is going to introduce a character who is a scientist in his show?

_“…he says he is a scientist…”_

He smiles excitedly, the more he hears the more excited he becomes. This is… well, amazing! The idea of a scientist managing to get into this little weird town to investigate it… Gosh, if it wasn’t fiction Carlos would be _jealous_.

_“The_ _new scientist, who we now know is named Carlos…”_

His smiles evaporates like a puff of smoke and is replaced by a look of utter disbelief, Cecil named the scientist character after him?! Okay, now he feels a bit giddy, starting to giggle as his cheeks warm up, is this what being flattered feels like? He feels very flattered, indeed!

“What the fuck?” whispers Dave, propping himself up on his elbows and looking at him, but Carlos shushes him, not wanting to miss any of Cecil’s words. His friend cocks an eyebrow at him and smiles slyly before biting his lower lip and waggling his eyebrows when Cecil starts describing how handsome is Carlos The Scientist with his perfect hair, his square jaw and his teeth like a military cemetery, what is that even supposed to mean? The Venezuelan boy takes one the throw pillows on the foot of his bed and aims for Dave’s face so he stops acting like an idiot. “Dude!” he complains. “Whatever, teeth like a military cemetery, what the fuck does that even mean?” he shrugs in response, he doesn’t know either.

“Rude, didn’t he notice I have a tooth gap?” he says instead, crossing his arms and with his tongue clicking against said asset.

_“He grinned and everything about him was perfect… and I fell in love instantly…”_

Carlos sits up abruptly and, when he finally processes what he has heard, he makes a sound that sounds like the combination between a high-pitched whine and an embarrassed squeal as he hides under the covers. He keeps listening anyways. Dave propels himself higher, pressing his hands against the mattress. 

“Did he fucking just-?”

“Dave?” he calls, still drowning in embarrassment and interrupting him. 

“Yes, babe?”

“Do you think he means it? Being in love with me, I mean” he explains lowering the blankets to stare at his friend who is staring back with a thoughtful expression on his face. “Dave?”

“Not gonna lie, Carlitos, he did sound pretty sincere to me”.

They keep listening, making the usual comment here and there, especially on those moments where Carlos the Scientist shows up. Dave falls asleep after weather segment (that is music for some reason, what in the world?) but Carlos keeps listening, he wants to absorb every word and to retain the sound of Cecil’s beautiful voice in his memory. 

His eyelids start to drop and he finds it harder and harder to stay awake. However, he smiles as he falls asleep when Cecil says…

_“Goodnight, listeners, goodnight”_

* * *

“I mean, who knows? Maybe we could finally get you some d-…”

“DAVE”

“I was going to say _dates_”

“Of course you were”

They’re sitting at their usual small table at the cafeteria next to each other, the little portable radio is between them with the earphones plugged in and tuned into the evening news from the community radio. Today’s dinner is pasta. Carlos realizes he is almost expecting something out of the ordinary to happen in the show. Something that feels very similar to disappointment sparks in him when he hears Cecil’s voice describing the actual weather for tomorrow’s day instead of hearing music once he introduces the segment. 

Rochelle grins as she sits in front of them with an steaming instant ramen cup in her hands, she is not on the full scholarship program like them, but still comes by so they can dine together. Nilanjana is usually with her but, since her mother is a professor at the university, they both leave the campus on Fridays and she stays with her parents on the weekends.

“Hi, lovelies, can I ask you for something?” she says, taking out a pair of chopsticks from her purse, before leaving it on the chair next to her, usually occupied by the fourth member of their little quartet. 

“Sure, darling, what is it? Do we have to knock some teeth out?”

“No, Dave baby, but thanks for offering, the thing is…” she sighs. “Do you remember Susan Willman?”

“Susan Willman as in that nasty girl that lives on the dorm next to yours? _That_ Susan Willman?”

“The one and only” she states, pursuing her lips. “Her boyfriend broke up with her, again, and he asked me out. I, of course, said no and he took it well, you know, like a normal person, but Susan is angry with me and she is going to be a nightmare tonight until she and her boyfriend either get back together or he asks someone else out, can I stay the night with you two?”

“Sure, no problem, Roch!” Carlos assures his friend with a smile. “Do you need us to go with you to the dorms so you can pick some stuff up? I don’t think she will bother you if we do!”

“Thank, Carlos sweetie, but don’t worry, I’m a big girl, I can handle her, plus she has probably locked herself up on her room, I pity her roommate!” they laugh. “Do we have plans for tonight?”

“Well, my boyfriend told me about this ice cream place that is, like, super cheap so I went and I bought like two kilos of chocolate, vanilla and strawberry ice cream and we tried making brownies with Carlos this afternoon in the dorm kitchenette, we haven’t tried them but hey, if anything we will die with a full stomach”

“We’re also going to watch the next episode of_ Argentina, tierra de amor y venganza_ while we eat them, we… we’re going to watch it in Spanish but we can put some subtitles and give you context if you want”.

“I will probably doze off in the first half hour, but sure, babe”

* * *

_“Hello?”_ comes the voice from the other side, making Carlos froze instantly. He is pacing around in the backyard of the dorms building. Dave is getting everything ready for when Rochelle comes by. _“This is Cecil Palmer, who am I speaking with?”_ he bites his lips, not knowing if the shiver that runs through him is because of the slightly chilly breeze that rustles his curls or Cecil’s voice on the other side of the line; the depth is not quite the same, but he sounds just as smooth as he does in the radio.

“Oh, um, hi, Cecil, I’m-… It’s me, Carlos” he stutters, really, he hates speaking on the phone, why did he decide this was a good idea, again?

_“Carlos!”_ says the radio host, delighted and Carlos can’t help but smile. _“I didn’t recognize your voice, oh, what a lovely surprise!”_

“Well, you’ve never heard my voice before, Cecil, but, uh, it’s nice to be heard from and… i- it’s nice to hear you too. I- I heard your show last night and your evening show just now too” okay, that sounded creepy, rephrasing it now. “I was really curious about what you sounded like…” much better. “I’ve to say, Cecil, you’ve the loveliest voice I’ve ever heard” Cecil doesn’t answer and Carlos regrets even learning how to speak, was… was that too much? It’s not like nobody has told Cecil that before, right? With a voice like that is hard to think nobody complimented him.

_“…you really think so, Carlos?”_

“I do” no use in denying it now.

_“Oh, thank you, that’s so nice of you to say! I can say the same of you; you have the cutest voice ever! I hope that’s not too forward of me to say”._

“You don’t really have to worry about that, we’ve been talking for a while now, I’m getting used to you being forward… and I…” he presses his lips together.

_“…you?”_ he prompts._ “You what, dear Carlos?”_

“I like when you’re forward with me” he blurts out, his cheeks bursting into flames as the words fall out of his mouth.

_“My, my, I shall start being forward with you more often, then”._

“Okay, I guess… um, hey, I also liked that you named a character of your show after me, that’s pretty cool”.

_“Oh, dearest, I didn’t just name him after you. Carlos The Scientist is_ based _on you”_

“Me but handsome and without the social awkwardness, got it” he says nodding, even though Cecil can’t see him.

_“I’ve to disagree, I think you’re pretty charming and good-looking, I describe Carlos the way I would have described you…”_

“Oh” he breathes out, not knowing what else to say. “Thank you…”

_“No need to thank me, as a journalist I only report on the facts”._

“Quit booty calling your boyfriend and come in, Roch just got here!” Dave calls him from the door that leads to the backyard so he can come inside.

“That’s my best friend Dave being a jerk, I’ve to leave but I’ll talk to you later, okay, Cecil?”

_“Of course, good night, Carlos”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The song in this chapter is Amor y Roma by Chano Charpentier.
> 
> “…love is waiting to find and losing yourself trying to go in and out. I think it’s all about something heavenly, I see you, smile and it turns positive. I don’t want anything, I want to see you, see how you do and undo. Everything I have is a dawn; I never had anything, so what? I need you once again, loving is easy, you know, you say so without saying it is…”
> 
> *Argentina, Tierra de Amor y Venganza is a currently airing Argentinian soap opera set in between the late 1930’s and the early 1940’s.


	3. First fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cecil and Carlos have a disagreement over a certain topic that concerns them both for entirely different reasons.

“_Seventeen runnin’ from innocence, like it’s a lion, nippin’ at my heels, but I’m young, so I out run ‘em. Jailbait baby huntin’ for men in their twenties, cupid shootin’ arrows but I’m cold so I out gun ‘em. Bad boy talkin’ fast, talkin’ dirty, he tells me I’m hot, so I tell him I love him. And he says… ‘girls your age never mean what they say’. I’ve got a renegade heart and it’s screamin’ his name, but then it beats like you’ve got time to kill, baby. Don’t go jump the gun, live fast while you’re young, honey, don’t go chasin’ love, don’t go-…_”

Carlos practically slams the back door in hopes of somehow muffling the loud music the guys from the ground floor are playing. It does help a bit.

“Would you stop being dramatic about this for one second?” he requests, trying to sound gentle, when in fact he is annoyed beyond belief, a hand tugs at his tousled curls as he paces around the dorms building’s small backyard. He and Cecil have been on the phone for about fifteen minutes by his calculations, they’ve been longer than that before, of course, but this is getting ridiculous.

“_Dramatic? **Me?**_” Cecil answers over the phone, clearly offended by his words, and Carlos winces, reminding himself to keep his temper in check. “_I’m not being dramatic! God, don’t you realize it? I’m a cradle-robber! Or at the very least irresponsible if you’re feeling generous, I should have asked how old were you forever ago, Carlos! You’re a smart kid, you can clearly see the problem, you just don’t want to_ acknowledge _it_” he bites his tongue in an effort to not retort that he is over eighteen and he is no kid, because doing so would be, ironically, what a kid would do.

It all started when Carlos decided to follow up on Dave’s suggestion of asking Cecil to go with them at a party that will be held in a couple weeks just outside of campus. It’s pride-themed, so he figured the radio host would want to go. Cecil had in fact, agreed to.

It was when he mentioned they could maybe get to talk face-to-face over a couple drinks, that Carlos offhandedly mentioned that he doesn’t really do alcoholic drinks, when asked why, he just said the truth: part the fact that he does not like the taste and part him not being old enough to be legally allowed to drink. 

“You don’t want me anymore is what you’re saying” Carlos mutters, mostly to himself and surprised at how much those words actually hurt. 

“_I didn’t say that_” Cecil argues. “_I just think that you should be courted by boys your age, I want you to be happy, Carlos, even if it’s not with me…_” Cecil continues to talk, but Carlos is no longer listening.

He does have a point, is Carlos horrified realization after a few seconds. His first thought is what are Mama and Papa going to think if I bring home a much older boyfriend? He swallows nervously; his parents don’t really have much of an age gap between them, given that Rosa and Mauricio Marron are high school sweethearts. But… but they would be very understanding if he did indeed take an older boyfriend home, right? They actually wouldn’t mind, they would just be happy that he is happy and has found someone who loves him as much as Cecil say he does, right?

With a knot in his throat, he realizes he is only trying to fool himself.

But…

“Cecil?” he asks, interrupting whatever it was that the other man was saying. “I don’t care, okay? You’re right, but… I don’t want boys my age… I- I want you, Cecil” he bites his lower lip, this is the closest he has ever come to tell Cecil he reciprocates his affections.

The line is silent for a while and every second is more unnerving to Carlos than the last one, then, Cecil finally speaks again, making the Venezuelan boy release a breath he doesn’t know he has been holding.

“_Maybe we should stop talking for a while, deare- **Carlos**_” the correction makes his heart ache. 

“Cecil, no-… I- I like talking to you, love it, even! I love when we text in the mornings, or when you sent me texts through the day because something made you think of me or you want t-to kno-know if I am ta-taking care of my s-self” it sounds an awful lot like he is begging, but he does not care, even if he is starting to stutter and the knot in his throat is worsening, like it’s swelling, as tears start to form at the corner of his eyes. “I- I love when we ta-talk at n-night, when you tell me about your da-day until I can’t keep my eyes a-anymore and you re-realize and tell me good night…” he finds it hard to keep talking, so he tries to swallow the knot on his throat with trying being the key word, because the goddamn sensation just doesn’t go away. “Cecil… please…”

“_I’m sorry, Carlos… good night…_”

The next thing he knows is that Cecil’s lovely voice has been replaced by the dial tone, so Carlos puts his phone in his breast pocket as his head falls forward to look at his red converse, even though his vision is getting blurry by unshed warm tears that are starting to fog up his glasses. A choked sob escapes his lips and he realizes he is still in the backyard. He straightens, keeping his eyes on the ground and, as quickly and silently as he can manage as to not let anyone else he may come across notice his mood, he makes his way back towards his dorm on the third floor of the building.

Is this what a break-up feels like?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter this time, lovelies! But don't worry, the next one will be here sooner than you think!
> 
> Also! THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE I SWEAR-!
> 
> *The song in this chapter is "Girls Your Age" by Transviolet


	4. Not Yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos is finally introduced to the concept of a broken heart.

_“Hey” Dave calls without looking at him as he scrubs the dishes in the sink after they had finished watching their telenovela. “I was thinking of introducing you to my boyfriend, your approval is important to me, ya know? Aside from my mom, you’re the closest I’ve to family”._

_ Carlos smiles at him as he dries the dishes, they are the only ones on this floor of the building, which is kind of neat, they can use the kitchenette and the improvised living room as they please, while the other dorms on the floor had locked doors, that hasn’t stopped them from inviting Nilanjana and Rochelle to stay the night._

_“Sure, I would love to meet him, Dave, when shall we?”_

_“He is going to get a few days off next week, he works in the military base at the edge of town, don’t know if I mentioned it to you. Oh, don’t look at me like that, I know I had always said that I would never fall in love with a soldier, but technically he isn’t a soldier, he is trained and all but he cooks in the barracks, so. Plus, you’re the one who said he would never fall in love online as an argument against why I couldn’t download Grindr on your phone, yet here you’re, head over heels for that radio host” he bumps his hips against Carlos’, whose cheeks are a now a crimson red. “Hey, no shame in doing so, you like him, don’t you?”_

_“Technically, we didn’t meet online but… yes” Carlos admits, barely above a whisper. “Yes, I like him… he is, I dunno, something else”._

_ Dave nods with a smile._

_“I will kick him in the nuts so fucking hard if he dares to hurt you” he states, still with the bright smile on his face._

_“Dave!”_

_“Don’t worry, babe, I got your back!”_

_“I know you do” he finally admits._

_“Oh, hey, before I forget, there’s going to be a Pride-themed party, just outside of campus on like, two weeks, and I want to go with my gay best friend” he smiles and Carlos smiles back. “I know parties aren’t really your thing, but maybe you could invite Radio Boy?” the Venezuelan boy looks at him in disbelief. “Yeah, don’t look at me like that, I see your face every time he sends you a message or he calls you, Carlos, I think it’s time you two meet…”_

That scene had happened barely a couple days ago and Dave couldn’t help but to regret every single word he had spoken that day. Except telling Carlos that he is family to him, he meant that one and will stand by it. Dave is an only-child, after all, and he had always wanted a little brother he could take care of and teach things to, given his father’s untimely passing, he never got his wish. Of course he now has Carlos, whom he knows is the oldest of four siblings, so he is used to take care of others, but not to having someone relatively close in age do the same for him.

Now, in their shared dorm, sitting on his bed with Carlos’ head on his lap as the younger boy cries, he desperately wishes he could be the person Carlos needs right now. The Venezuelan boy is definitely the sweetest person Dave has ever met, and the mere idea that someone hurt him makes his chest ache and a _very-close-to-murderous_ rage ignite in him.

_‘Son of a motherfucking bitch’_, he thinks bitterly, remembering what, or rather _who_, is the cause of Carlos’ tears. He may not have meant to help be the cause of why Carlos and his… boyfriend? Were they even boyfriends? Whatever, he didn’t meant to cause them to break-up, but he sure did mean what he said about kicking Cecil’s family jewels as hard as he could if he hurt his best friend. _‘I’m so mad I’m willing to beat him up for this_’ he ponders how much can he exactly hurt Cecil before it’s considered attempted murder, when Carlos sniffles and speaks up.

“Dave?” his voice is hoarse due to all the crying he has done, Dave gives him a reassuring smile as he strokes his curls.

“Yes, babe?”

“Thanks for staying here with me, I know it’s silly, we weren’t actually boyfriends and all that but…”

“Hey, now, it’s not silly, you’re hurt and you need to cry, I would never call you silly for having feelings, Carlos” he bends down and presses a kiss to Carlos’ forehead. “And I’m here for you, buddy, anytime, day or night, okay? Why don’t we go to bed now?” he then suggests softly. “We can talk about this later if you want or none at all, but right now, you look like you need a nap”.

The next morning, Dave finds himself next to a sleeping Carlos and frowns. His best friend is not one to get this level of upset, for as long as they’ve known each other, Carlos has always been the one to cheer him up when he is feeling like crap. Sure, he had seen him with tears in his eyes before, but the Venezuelan boy had always wiped them off before they fell and then composed himself like nothing was wrong. Carlos tends to say he is not the strong type, but Dave knows better.

His phone vibrates in the bedside table, so he sits up and grabs it, trying to move as slowly as possible to not wake up Carlos, even though he is pretty sure a goddamn train could be passing through the room and the boy wouldn’t even flinch, he can truly sleep through anything.

He smiles because it’s a _Good morning _text from his boyfriend, so he immediately calls him.

_“Good morning” _says the man on the other side of the line, and he can almost hear the smile he must have on his face. _“How are you doing? I didn’t wake you, did I?”_

“Morning, gorgeous!” he answers enthusiastically, but trying to keep his voice low so, again, he doesn’t wake up Carlos. “Nah, don’t worry I was awake anyways. Answering your question, I’m not really good, a son of a bitch broke my best friend’s heart last night, so I got to find the bastard and kill him” he slowly gets up from the bed as he explains. Carlos, unaware of it all, rolls onto the space he left, making him smile fondly.

_“Should you really tell me that, babe? Military is also law enforcement, and you’re confessing to planning and probably attempting a murder”_

“Are you going to slap the handcuffs on me, handsome?” he teases, lowering his voice as he closes the dorm’s room behind him and goes to the kitchenette, where he gets a glass that he fills with water.

His boyfriend lets out a breathy chuckle.

_“I’m a soldier, silly, not a cop, we don’t get handcuffs. I’m lucky the gun comes with the job, though”_

“When do I get to see your gun?” he bites his lips and waits for his boyfriend’s response, who, let’s be honest, must be blushing furiously by now.

_“Oh, my god, are you really trying to have phone sex with me? Dave, it’s 0700, why are you so horny in the mornings?”_

“The answer is simple, because you’re hot and I’m a disaster. Hey, I should have asked this before but, uh, are you alone? I mean, with the hour and all…” he trails off, figuring his lovely boyfriend is going to understand what he means anyways, as he finally takes a sip off his glass of water.

_“Right now I am”,_ is the answer that comes from the other side. _“I’ve a few spare minutes”_

“Um, you know, I’m glad you called, I have to… we…” he takes a deep breath while the man patiently waits for him to organize his ideas. “That thing I mentioned, about my best friend? He, um, I mean, he wanted to meet you and all but he… he is just a little brokenhearted and is kind of shy around new people so I don’t want to-…”

_“I get it, Dave, it’s okay, we can reschedule it for when your friend feels better, it’s no problem” _he reassures him and Dave smiles for the umpteenth time that day, he really lucked out when he met him. _“God knows I know what a broken heart feels like, or having to comfort someone with one, my best friend was quite the lovesick boy when we were kids”._

“Speaking of which, when will I meet him?”

_“Once he gets some spare time, he works on the local community radio station and, gosh, sometimes I think he is a workaholic” _Dave frowns, that must be a weird coincidence, it’s a local station after all, a lot of people should work there, right?_ “We grew up together, so it’s really important to me that you meet him… he has a new boyfriend, well, he didn’t say _boyfriend_, but the way he talked about him, oh, I just know he is smitten over him! I know him better than anyone. Hey, he mentioned to me that his boyfriend studies science, maybe you know him!”_ okay… that’s _way_ too specific to be a coincidence.

Dave licks his lips and looks over his shoulder at the dorm’s door, expecting Carlos to open it any moment now. He really wants to know if what he is thinking is right, but he also knows that if he is right he won’t able to keep his mouth shut and he is going to tell Carlos and, oh God, poor Carlos can’t really deal with this shit right now and…

Fuck it. He has to know.

“Earl, baby, _is your friend named Cecil_…?”

* * *

It’s still pretty early, but the temperature all around is nice, plus the sky is a light blue without a single cloud on sight. Carlos can’t help but think that Cecil could make the most beautiful allegory about it, because, to him, everything the radio host says sounds like poetry, and he is a scientist and has wanted to be one since he found out what a scientist was, but, let’s be honest, even he can appreciate the beauty that gives him a break from rigid formulas and cold sterile facts.

After last night’s fiasco Dave decided that the best course of action was to tell him to dress up because they were going to go get breakfast on their nearest coffee shop. He just thrown whatever clean clothes were near, he didn’t even look at them as he picked them before showering. Dave, on the other hand, has dressed up; he is wearing dark skinny jeans, a Motley Crüe crop top and a black hoodie with the zipper down. He has gone so far as to put a bit of mascara and eyeliner.

At first, he thought that they were going to go meet with Dave’s boyfriend and panicked, feeling bad for being so forgetful and tired, despite just waking up, because he honestly isn’t in the mood. However, he quickly assured him that it’s not the case; he just wants to take Carlos out for breakfast.

“You really don’t have to” he insists for the umpteenth time, this time Dave only answers with a roll of his eyes. “Also, stop moving around” he chides, putting on the earphone in his ear _again_. They hadn’t brought Carlos’ portable radio like they always do, deciding to leave it in a dark drawer on their shared desk where it will remain forgotten, —mostly because he knows that if he had it on the bedside table’s drawer he would just grab it when it’s time for Cecil’s show like the weak, pathetic idiot he is—, instead, they are listening to music on Dave’s smartphone.

“Oh, c’mon, this song _slaps_, you can’t blame me” he links their arms as they walk together towards the coffee shop. “_Right now, it’s so hard to blame you, ‘cause you’re so damn beautiful…_” he sings, “C’mon, Marron, sing with me!” he adds, bumping his shoulder against Carlos’ who giggles but doesn’t complies. “_Is it easier to stay? Is it easier to go? I don’t wanna know, oh, but I know that I’m never, ever gonna change, and you know that you’re always going to stay the same_”.

_“Is it easier to stay? Is it easier to go? I don’t wanna know, oh, but I know that I’m never, ever gonna change and you know that you don’t want it any other way…_” Carlos finishes, trying to hide his smile and unable to resist, neither of them are good at singing, but there’s something about doing it together that makes the Venezuelan boy feel like they aren’t _that_ terrible.

* * *

“He said _no_?!” Dave asks in utter disbelief, settling his plastic cup down. Carlos doesn’t answer; too busy stirring his green tea to even look up at him. He is not really a fan of teas but lately he has been trying to cut down on caffeine… and sweets and wheat, and he has been trying to be a bit sportier. “Carlos, what’s wrong? Was he mean to you last night?” he shakes his head, biting his lips. “Babe, talk to me…”

In between all the crying he did last night, Carlos couldn’t really explain to him what exactly the problem with Cecil is.

“He didn’t say _no_” he admits, before taking a bite out of the wheat-free muffin he bought to go with it. He makes a face and sets it down. _Yuck_. “But he didn’t say _yes_, either, I mean, he was kind of weird about it, I don’t know…”

“I mean… he does have a point, babe. You know how people in small towns are, this town is very welcoming and all, but think about what people would say if you have an older boyfriend…” he says slowly, hoping Carlos will understand what he is getting at. “And he didn’t even tell you how old is he?” Carlos shakes his head no. “Hm, that’s… well, that’s weird. Don’t get me wrong, babe, I still want to kick his ass, but he may have a point… even if he made you cry”

“It’s not his fault I am a crybaby…”

Dave frowns, staring silently at Carlos, who avoids his gaze by looking down at his tea.

“Carlos, I don’t think you like him…” his head snaps up, so fast he feels dizzy for a second, staring wide-eyed at his friend. “…I think you’re in love with him”

The Venezuelan boy is silent for a few seconds, frowning at his untouched cup of green tea, he pursues his lips. Dave moves on to unwrap his blueberry muffin and taking a bite. He lifts his eyes from his meal when Carlos speaks again.

“No, I’m not in love with him”, there’s a note of confusion in his voice as he tilts his head to the side. Dave stares at him in disbelief.

“What the-? Carlos, yes, you’re!”

“No”

“Yes”

“No”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Oh my god, just admit you’re in love with that dumbass, or at least admit it to me! Look at you, your heart is broken!”

“Shut up” Carlos says, frowning and tired as he looks through the glass wall they’re sitting next to, finishing their argument, his tea and wheat-less muffin forgotten as he rests his cheek in his hand and his elbow on the table. Dave can see that Carlos lips are quivering and his eyes are watering when he murmurs. “I don’t really want to be here, I want to go home… with my parents and my siblings…”

The boy with blue eyes pursues his lips and takes the hand that his friend has resting on the table. Carlos flinches at first, so he tries to take his hand back since the last thing he wants is making his best friend uncomfortable, but the Venezuelan boy doesn’t let him, interlacing his fingers and holding on tight. Dave hasn’t really had any good lasting friendships before starting college, and he knows Carlos hasn’t either. Even in places as welcoming as this town, it is always nice to have someone that has your back.

He smiles at him, encouragingly, but Carlos barely manages a twitch of the lips in response.

There’s no such thing as a broken heart.

Carlos has always been curious about neurology and the mental and emotional process behind common human reactions (not enough to go into medical science, but still). A broken heart is nothing but a response that happens when the brain interprets emotional pain as psychical pain, leading one to believe their chest hurts or that is hard to breathe when someone rejects you. Love is not even real, it’s just a chemical imbalance that makes dopamine levels skyrocket and generates serotonin (happiness hormone) and that is seek-out only due to it’s addictive properties. Who doesn’t want to be happy, after all? 

Well, he doesn’t need that, because it’s not real and he is a scientist, he works with facts and formulas and stuff that is _real_. He can’t allow his judgement to be clouded with fantasies, with illusions.

So, Dave is wrong.

Carlos can’t have a broken heart, because there’s not such a thing and Carlos can’t be in love with Cecil, because love is not real.

They stay in silence for a bit, before he speaks again.

“You would get angry too, if someone decided to just stop all contact just because you’re younger than them…”

“Okay, first of all, you’re not angry, you’re sad, which is also valid. And you’re right, I would get mad if Muffin does that, but only at first, then I would just forget all about it, if he doesn’t want to talk, then fine. But that’s _his _problem, not mine. I think the only person who I would be _really _pissed off if they stopped talking to me… is you, Carlos”.

“Really?”

“Yeah! Who am I going to tell to about all the embarrassing shit I do?” that makes Carlos laugh, a real and rich laugh, so Dave smiles, figuring he is on the right track. “Our friendship is one of the things I value the most, Carlos, you know that, right?” his friend nods. “Good, let’s eat” he prompts, taking a sip out of his iced coffee. “What do you have there?”

“I’m tempted to say _a knife_” he answers, making his friend almost choke with laughter and coffee. A smile makes it’s way into his features, before pursuing his lips. “It’s a, uh, wheat-less vanilla muffin, want to try it? It’s not really good, actually”

“Food is food and every muffin is good, give me that” Dave leans over the table to take a bite out of the muffin Carlos is offering and sits back again. He makes a face that has Carlos giggling in seconds. “What the _fuck_, what the actual fuck, does this even have sugar?!” he groans through a mouthful. He finally swallows. “Why in the world would you do this to yourself, Carlos?!” he breaks what’s left of his blueberry muffin in two handing one half to Carlos. “You’re not finishing that shit” he instructs. “You’re eating half of mine”.

After a bit, they’re talking about whatever, like the professors, their classes and anything that comes to mind, even though Dave carefully avoids topics like _relationships_ and words like _boyfriend_. Eventually, Carlos looks at where they left their cellphones and sighs.

“I need to ask you something”, Dave nods, prompting him on. “You said, that you want me to meet your boyfriend because my approval is important to you, well…, _your _approval is important to me too, what do you think about Cecil?” he winces, all of this is said in a rush, in fear that his friend may interrupt him and he is unable to get his point across.

“Hm…” the boy stares at him for a few seconds before answering. “It’s like the weirdest love story ever if you ask me” Dave murmurs before taking another sip of his iced coffee.

“Well, I didn’t ask you, did I?” Carlos retorts, biting his lower lip, his friend arches an eyebrow. “I mean, I _did_ ask you, but, more specifically, I asked you about Cecil”.

“Look, Carlos, I won’t sugarcoat it for you, he seemed nice at first but, this whole thing…” he grunts. “He made you _cry_, Carlos, I don’t think I will be able to forgive him for that just yet, even if he does decided to stop being a whiny bitch and date you for real instead of just texting for a while and leading you on and then disappear with the excuse that he is _too old for you_, like, what the hell, man. I mean, it’s a valid concern and all, but Earl and I also have an age-gap between us but that doesn’t mean-…!”

“Who is Earl?” Carlos interrupts, frowning with confusion.

“What the-…? What do you mean _who is Earl_? Earl is my boyfriend! I’ve been telling you about him for _months_! Are you having a stroke or something?”

“Ohhh” Carlos lets out. “His name is Earl, got it” Dave stares at him like he just said the sky is green, or something scientifically inaccurate akin to that. “Don’t look at me like that; you never called him by name, I’ve only known Earl as Muffin since you met him”.

“I hate to be an asshole and bring this up but, what does Radio Boy call you, Carlos?” his friend pursues his lips. “Carlos” Dave warns.

“_Bunny_” Carlos answers reluctantly. “He calls me Bunny”.

“Oh, my god, that’s adorable!”

“I thought you hated him”

“Now, I never said that, Carlitos”, he corrects. “I just feel like he needs to get it together before he talks to you again. And now that we’re mentioning him and Earl…” he licks his lips and winces. “Carlos, there’s something I need to tell you before this comes out to bite me in the ass…”

* * *

“There you go” Dave says as he places a cup in front of Carlos, before sitting across from him in the tiny round table they have in the common area of their floor in the dorm building.

It’s a lazy Thursday afternoon, they don’t have any more classes for the day, and soon they won’t have classes at all, since Summer Break is approaching fast. Both of them are required by their scholarship to complete a summer course, but they still get two full weeks to be as lazy and unproductive as their hearts desire.

“So, what did your Mama said when you called her?” Carlos asks, taking out a spoonful from his mug. “This _arroz con leche_ is great, by the way!”

“Oh, thanks! And man, you’re not gonna believe this! Okay, so, picture this, I’m doing the laundry in the basement and I get a call, I was expecting my mom to call, but it was actually my stepdad, remember George?” Carlos nods and Dave smiles as he tells the next part. “So, George calls and tells me he sent Mom to a spa for the day, because he wanted to talk to me without her knowing…” his smile grows bigger when Carlos frowns in confusion. “Apparently, he wants to take Mom to Disney and Mom said no, because she, quote, _just couldn’t go without her baby boy_ and then George is like, _you have two weeks, don’t ya, kid? So, are we taking your mama to Disney or what_?”

“No way!”

“Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either!” he answers excitedly. “I promise I will bring you something nice”

“You don’t have to. However, I expect a ton of pictures”.

“Oh, yeah, I’m going to get _so_ much meme worthy material! What about you, what are you going to do while I’m away?”

“I’m not sure yet, but, uh, don’t forget that we have to go pick up the inscription forms for the summer courses tomorrow morning” he reminds him, Dave notices he purposefully avoided the topic, so he doesn’t pry.

“Yeah, cool. My classes start at ten tomorrow because the teacher just had a baby, but the substitute won’t show up until next week, so I can go pick up the paperwork for us both and we can fill it out later to present it on Monday…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song in this chapter is Easier by 5 Seconds Of Summer.
> 
> Worry not, dears, all this mess WILL be sorted out, just you wait...


	5. Earl Harlan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missing is part of loving someone.

A few nights later, Carlos lies in bed, unable to sleep, so as quietly as he can manage, he slips out of the dorm, where Dave is still sleeping, and goes downstairs to a place where he knows he won’t be bothered: the backyard.

He sits on the back porch, staring at the green, wet and freshly cut grass that, along with the early morning dew, give the night a unique smell. The backyard is not a clean as one would hope, there are a few cigarettes butts and candy wrappers that are probably from a couple of very much stressed students littered about, but aside from that is a nice place to be. Carlos even comes here to read his books and do homework when it’s not windy.

He hasn’t come here since the fiasco with Cecil a few days ago, though.

The light breeze rustles his messy curls, and Carlos looks up, expecting to see stars, like at his parents’ house two towns over, they live in the outskirts so they light pollution is minimum if there’s any at all, but here the stars are barely visible, due to the fluorescent lights that illuminate the campus at night.

In nights like these is when he misses home the most.

His sisters bickering about who gets to use the bathroom first on the mornings, his baby brother asking for bedtime stories or help with his homework, his father with his awful dad jokes and the stories about his home country that Carlos was only able to visit once or twice, his mother with her gentle words and warm hugs. Carlos has never been a fan of hugging but, right now in this lonely and slightly cold backyard what wouldn’t he give for a hug from his mom…

A sob escapes his lips, as his shoulders tremble and he hugs himself, as if that way he could pull himself together and stop feeling empty. Rosa had told him he could call anytime he needed, but, since it seems that it’s a couple more hours until dawn he doesn’t think they would pick up. Plus, his family is not even in the States right now, they’re all the way down in Buenos Aires, visiting Carlos’ Argentinian grandmother, Leticia.

His family is not all the people he misses, he remembers as he takes out his phone, with one arm wiping his tears away.

He misses Cecil too.

Without their daily interactions, Carlos’ cellphone has been uncomfortably silent the past few days, aside of course from the group chat with his friends. What wouldn’t he give for a call from his favorite radio host… they haven’t talked since that fateful night, but Carlos still listens to Cecil’s show in the evenings and is eagerly awaiting for the 15th to come so he can hear the latest mystery Carlos the Scientist is trying to make sense of. The radio host hasn’t mentioned him, or rather his fictionalized alter-ego, much lately. Disappointment was certainly not what he expected to feel about it, but anyways.

Not sure of why or how, he finds himself dialing Cecil’s number. He wanted to respect Cecil and give him space, but enough is enough and Carlos finds himself unable to exist another minute without hearing Cecil’s dulcet baritone voice. Turning it on speaker, because it somehow makes him feel like Cecil is right here next to him when they speak like this, he leaves it next to him and lifts his knees up to his chest, just to hide his face in them as he hears the dial tone. Of course Cecil is not going to answer.

“_Hello?_”

“Cecil…!” he breathes in relief and surprise as he abruptly rising his head to look at his phone, before realizing how weird that must have sounded. “Um, oh, hi, Cecil…”

“_Oh… hi, Carlos!_” Carlos frowns, he was expecting Cecil to be mad at him for calling at this ungodly hour of the night, mostly for breaking their agreement, very one-sided agreement if he may add, of not contacting each other for a while. However, the man sounds relieved at hearing him. “_It’s kind of late, is everything okay?”_

“Oh, yeah, sorry to bother you!” he exclaims quickly.

“_You’re not bothering me, dearest, I love hearing from you…_” he sighs not bothering to correct himself, so Carlos thinks he must either not have realized it or he no longer cares. “_Even if I’m the one who decided to pull away…_”

“I miss you” he blurts out in a moment of boldness.

“_Oh, baby… I miss you too_” Carlos shivers at the new cute pet name but he is not sure is it’s truly that or just the breeze. “_What we talked before, do you still-…?”_

“Yes” he interrupts, biting his lip as he does so. “I don’t care, Cecil, how old are you anyways, thirty-five, forty, older than that? I don’t care!”

He has given this more thought than he would like to admit, the conclusion he came to was that, as long as Cecil is not as old as his father, he could overlook their age gap. The charming radio host has taken his heart hostage and Carlos doesn’t want it back if it’s not in a body bag…, okay that was kind of morbid, but it also conveys his feelings in the same way that the weirdness in Cecil’s radio drama somehow makes sense when you’re listening to it.

“_Do… do I sound _**_that_**_ old?” _Carlos couldn’t really answer that, he didn’t based his hypothesis of Cecil being up to more than twenty years older than him on the sound of Cecil’s voice (to which he couldn’t really pinpoint an age anyways), but on what the worst case scenario could be. Carlos’ dad is fifty-nine years old, so as long as Cecil wasn’t near that age, he figured it was fine. “_Carlos, baby, do I really sound that decrepit?_”

“Wait, how old are you, then?” no use in explaining to Cecil how he came to his conclusion, he wouldn’t listen.

“_Carlos, I’m twenty-four! And I already sound like I’m middle-aged?! Oh, good god!_” Carlos, unable to help himself, bursts into laughter, a lively laughter that makes him forget about missing people and that makes him feel _whole_ again. Of course Cecil wasn’t middle-aged, he should have known! “_What are you laughing at, Mr. Scientist?!_”

“I-I’m sorry…” he says, breathless, before bursting into laughter again. Cecil patiently waits for him to finish, mostly because, unbeknown to Carlos, the radio host thinks that Carlos’ laugh is one of the cutest sounds in the universe, then he finds himself laughing as well. “S-sorry, Ceec” he finally says after they finally manage to stop they laughter and recover their breath. “It’s not that you sound old, okay? I promise. You have the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard”

“_Aww, Carlos, you’re the sweetest-…_”

“I’m also going to start calling you _Daddy_ out of spite” he declares, trying to hold back the smug smile that breaks into his face anyways when Cecil gasps, horrified.

“_What? Oh my god, Carlos no-…!”_

“Oh, I’m sorry, do you prefer _Papi_?”

“_Carlos Alejandro Marron, what has gotten into you?! Don’t you think I have already felt like a cradle-robber enough as it is?”_

“What about me, huh?” he shots back, teasingly; he figures he could (and should) push Cecil’s buttons for a bit more. Since he has cried over this, he clearly deserves some payback. “_I_ felt like a grave-robber! Didn’t you hear me before? I was willing to accept a boyfriend more than twenty years older than me! I mean, I figured that as long as you weren’t older than my Papa it wouldn’t be weird” he shrugs, even though Cecil can’t see him.

“_How old is your-? No, wait, forget it, I definitely _**_don’t_** _want nor need to know that_”

“Fifty-nine”

“_Carlos, I told you I didn’t wanted to know, good god!!_” the Venezuelan boy bursts into laughter again when the pitch of the other man’s voice goes up a couple octaves. “_You think you’re so funny, don’t you? Ugh, disgusting, I can’t believe you thought that I was so much older than you and you were still okay with me courting you! I need a shower…!”_

“What are you even doing awake?” he asks, changing the topic.

“_Woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep, so I’m drinking Armagnac and revising some notes for the show, hey, as a scientist, what comes to your beautiful smart mind when I say _broken time_, hm? I could use some scientific input. Dana pointed out to me that I had a few continuity errors a couple episodes back so now I’m rolling with the punches and decided to introduce the idea that time doesn’t work in the first place”._

He loves that is almost like no time has passed, like they had talked like this only yesterday. The thought of asking Cecil if they’re still going together to the party crosses his mind, but he ultimately decides it’s a topic for another time.

“Hm, that’s an interesting concept!” he says instead. “I can give some input, I mean, I’m no expert, but we can figure something out together, let’s start easy, do the clocks work?”

* * *

“That easy?” Dave asks the next morning when Carlos more than happily tells him about his late night phone call as they head towards the park that is close to the campus to meet up with Earl.

“What do you mean?

“You forgave him pretty easily… are you sure about this?”

“Yeah, ninety-eight point seven percent sure”.

“What about the one point three that’s left?”

“Anxiety and self-doubt”.

“Okay, valid”.

“Dave!” someone calls out as they near the playground area, which, due to the early hour, it’s empty.

They stop and Carlos stares at the man who is a few feet away from them. Just like Dave described, he is very tall (to Carlos everyone is tall, but still), he can see that his skin is dusted in freckles, his short red hair seems to look even redder in the early morning sunrays and, to be honest, the scar across the right side of his face make him appear pretty scary, but when his impossibly green eyes seem to light up as he looks at Dave, Carlos shakes his head and smiles. He is wearing a light grey short-sleeved shirt and black cargo pants with black combat boots. His smile is dazzling.

Dave drops his backpack and makes a run towards him, jumping into the soldier’s waiting arms and wrapping his legs around his waist. Carlos smiles at them as he picks up his friend’s bag and heads in their direction.

“Um, hi” he manages to say, catching the redhead’s attention.

“Hello!” it’s the cheerful answer he gets as he puts Dave down. The blue eyed boy whines a bit, but quickly recomposes himself.

“Baby, this is my best friend, Carlos, he is the one keeping me out of trouble while you’re away. Carlos, this is my boyfriend Earl, the one I told you all about”.

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Carlos” he says, before extending his hand for the Venezuelan boy to take.

“The same to you” he smiles.

“I’ve heard a lot about you, though it wasn’t exactly from Dave…” Carlos feels his cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

“So you do know Cecil”

“Know him? That son of a gun and I grew up together. We know each other since Cub Scouts, he has been my best friend since then” Earl’s smile it’s soft and Carlos can’t help but return it. “I’m going to be honest, Carlos, I had never hear him talk about anyone the way he talks about you”.

“O-oh, re-really?”

“Yes, sir, but, uh, did Dave make you come all the way here just to say hi?”

“Oh, no, no, don’t worry” he says, gesturing his palms in a placating manner, feeling the sudden need to excuse himself. “I need to meet up with our friends in the library, but he told me he has a date with you, so, since the park it’s on my way, we figured I could come by with him and stop to meet you”.

* * *

All the houses are the same; it’s the first thing he realizes as they go into the housing section of the military base. He himself had lived in a place like this, many years ago, when Alvaro Cruz was alive and in active duty. To him it seems like it was _forever _ago.

Dave shifts in his place, slightly uncomfortable, mostly nervous with the whole situation, he should have told Carlos about this, and maybe he would feel better if he had done that. He is standing in the porch of the house Earl owns on base. He bites his lips, this can make or break their relationship, really.

There’s something about Earl he hadn’t told any of his friends, not even Carlos.

Years ago, Earl had a girlfriend in high school, a pretty girl named Melony Pennington with who he shared a long-lasting relationship with. Two years and a half ago, they broke up when she got a job offer away from the city, because Earl had been in the army since he was eighteen and there was no way he could go away. Their separation was mutual and friendly. However, unbeknown to them both, Melony had gotten pregnant shortly before they broke up. Earl didn’t found out until last year, which had brought a whirlwind of emotions and changes into his life.

Now Earl is the father of a two year old baby, and he was never secretive about that, letting Dave know about him the moment their intentions for each other were clear. He didn’t mind that the other man had a kid, Dave loved kids, mostly due to his unfulfilled desire of being an older brother. 

Earl opens the front door and smiles, standing aside from the door so he can go in. Dave takes a deep breath and follows. He can’t really pay attention to the decoration of the house as his boyfriend leads him towards the living room, but once he is there he can’t help but forget all of his worries.

He looks just like Earl, with red hair and impossibly green eyes, plus he is even starting to show a few freckles as well. The child is playing with blocks on the ground, building a really unstable tower. He is with another man, who Dave recognizes as an Army Medic due to the band on the arm of his uniform.

“Roger?” Earl calls, and the boy turns to see him. 

“Look who is here!” the man tells the little boy. “Didn’t know you were going to bring company, Harlan!”

“Yeah, thanks for keeping an eye on him, Williams” he thanks him, approaching them both and taking Roger into his arms. “I owe you one”.

“That you do, indeed” he says, laughing. He nods to Dave, who mirrors the gesture, and then Earl accompanies him to the door, Roger in his arms still.

Dave takes the moment to recompose himself, all of his nerves are suddenly gone, and he can wait to get to know the little boy better. He had been told that Roger is very smart for his age, so it’s no surprise when Earl comes back and he hears the way he talks to Roger as he puts him down on the floor with his blocks again.

“This is my friend Dave, he came to play with you and I today, remember that I told you?”

The young scientist sits next to him on the floor, making the little boy look curiously at him.

“Hi, _pequeño_” he says, waving at him, “what do you have there?” Roger smiles at him as he offers Dave one of the blocks he is building with. “Oh, for me? Cool! What should we do with it?” the little boy places the block on his other hand on top of the unstable tower, that Earl is busying himself with the task of stabilizing. “Um, yeah, we should totally build a castle. Does this go here?” he asks, placing the block on top of the tower. Roger claps excitedly and laughs, and Dave’s heart all but _melts_.

Dave stays longer than he intended to, because Roger is the cutest and sweetest baby he had ever met and he likes spending time with him and with his dad too, of course.

“Thanks for today” says the redheaded man as they’re both dropping him off in front of campus, Roger fast asleep in his baby chair in the backseat. “I’m so glad you two like each other, it’s almost silly how worried I was!”

“It’s okay, he is the sweetest! I have accepted a long time ago that, if we want this to work, Roger has to be top priority for the both of us. Plus…” he looks at the sleeping baby over his shoulder, “…I already knew I was going to like him, because he is yours” he turns to Earl again, who is looking at him with wide bright eyes. “I however wasn’t expecting to love him as much as I love you in just one day” he smiles and Earl does too, before pulling him in for a kiss.

“I love you too, Dave” he murmurs against his lips when they part.

* * *

“…laugh all that you want, Rochelle” Dave says as he explains the situation to his friends. “but this…” he gestures at his face, “this it’s the expression of someone who is deeply in love, like, literally, I had Roger with me for, like, a few hours and if anything happened to him I would kill the person responsible and then myself”.

Nilanjana and Carlos laugh when the tallest member of their group only rolls her eyes at their blue-eyed friend. They’re making their way to the boys’ dorm to hang out for a bit after their study session (and Dave’s date), so then they will go to the cafeteria together to have dinner.

When they’re entering the ground floor of the place, that is mostly a reception and a large common room used by mostly everyone due to a creepy incident a few years back that resulted in the dorms only allowed to be in the remaining four floors above, the dorm manager, an amicable Physical Education major named Jason, warmly welcomes them. They make a bit of chat as he accompanies them upstairs, apparently the five boys on the first floor (the one Jason is in) are organizing a soccer match for after dinner with the boys from the second floor who, since there’s only three of them after a couple of them dropped out and moved, need two more players for it to be even. Carlos and Dave accept to play with them.

“Great, the guys will be thrilled!” Jason beams, then gestures for them to follow him into the first floor instead of continuing their way upstairs. “Before I forget, someone left something for you, Marron, I have it in my dorm because you know how people are” he rolls his eyes with a smile.

Carlos tells his friend to go ahead, mostly for Dave to go so he can let the girls in, then he follows Jason to his dorm.

The box he is handed is actually pretty light despite it’s size, which is not really that big either. He carefully takes it upstairs; putting special attention to his step when his treacherous synapses decide it would be an _embarrassing shame _if he happened to drop it on accident. Jason had commented how cute it was that his parents had decided to send him a care package right before Summer break, since he is older than him, Carlos figured the other boy must not get anymore packages from his parents.

Though, thinking about it… why would he get a package from his parents? They are not even in the States right now, but he usually just get things to take back to Campus when he goes home. Is this a way of telling him they won’t be back before Summer Break is over?

He bites his lower lip as he places the box in front of him on the coffee table of the living room. He can hear Dave and the girls laughing about something on the dorm, he decides not to interrupt them.

Hoping it’s not some kind of mean joke, he takes a deep breath and opens the box.

A small lilac paper falls next to the open box, so he takes it and reads it, blushing instantly at the words scribbled on a perfect calligraphy, the kind of calligraphy in which you would tell someone they have a gorgeous smile with.

_For my dear Carlos _

Dave and the girls choose that moment to come back.

“Hey, man, what do you have there?” his friend asks. “Anything we can eat?”

“…I think it’s from Cecil…” he blurts out and when Dave freezes, he feels the need to defend him, so he clarifies. “He knows I live here but he doesn’t know I’m on the third floor, let alone what dorm I’m in, he only left the box with a note…”

“Well, what are you waiting for, baby? Open it!” Rochelle prompts, as she and Nilanjana sit on each side of him. Dave, on his part sits on the floor, placing his elbows in the coffee table.

Hands shaking with nervousness and heart pounding with excitement, he takes off some purple wrapping paper and gasps at the reveal, taking it slowly out of the box, as if it will break. The girls gasp and let out a couple _awws_ as well.

It’s a dark brown teddy bear, but not any teddy bear, no, no. This one in particular is wearing a pristine white lab coat and cartoonish looking turquoise protection goggles, it even has a tiny red notebook attached to one his paws and a plastic test tube in the other.

Nilanjana inspects the tiny red notebook as Carlos just stares in disbelief at the fat stuffed animal.

“Oh my gosh, this says something here!” she announces, adjusting her glasses. “_Hello!_” she reads, _“My name is The Professor, I like science and hugs!_ Oh my goodness, that’s adorable!!” another chorus of _awws_ follow Nilanjana’s statement, while Carlos just feels his cheeks heat up, he doesn’t have to check the handwriting to know the one who wrote such a thing was Cecil.

“Aw, how _dare _he” Dave complains teasingly, with a smile on his face. “I wanted to keep not liking him for a little longer…” Carlos glares at him, as Dave bring the box closer to himself and inspects it. “Oh hey, he wrote you a letter”, he says, handing him a lilac envelope.

_For Carlos’ eyes only…_

“It better not be unsolicited-…”

“DAVE!!” Carlos chides as he nervously stores the letter in the inner pocket of his jacket, he can read it later.

Later, Dave and Carlos stand in the entrance of the girls’ dorms, waiting for their friends to pick something up so they can go all together to the cafeteria. The place looks more like a cozy house than the boring and grey block building they live in, Dave then proceeded to blame gender stereotypes and roles for it, like he usually does. The boy with blue eyes is checking his phone, while Carlos takes that moment to read Cecil’s letter on the poor light of the porch.

_“Dear, Perfect Carlos: There’s a lot of things I would like to say to you, but there’s not words meaningful enough for me to express my message to you through a simple letter, my dear. However, I still need to talk to you, dearest, so, call me after the show?_

_─With love, Cecil”._

* * *

_“Hello?” _answers that lovely honey-like voice on the other said of the line.

“Hi, Cece! It’s me, Carlos” it’s the cheerful answer he gives him as he sits on the back porch. Some of the guys of the first floor are pulling an all-nighter on the ground floor for some reason, so he didn’t put Cecil on speaker as not to bother them.

_“Hi, Carlos” _he says, a soft note of playfulness in his voice. _“I was wondering when my favorite scientist was going to call”._

“Well, here I am, what did you needed to talk about?

The playfulness is gone from his voice after he lets out a heavy sigh and continues speaking.

_“I wanted to apologize to you, for all that happened these past days. I didn’t want to make you feel bad… maybe I can make it up to you over dinner sometime this week…? Unless you have plans, of course”_

_Oh my god…,_ he thinks, _is he asking me out??_ Excitement and nervous butterflies seem to burst into existence in his stomach. He wants to laugh and of course he wants to go out with Cecil! He is about to tell him so, when he realizes something else…

“Oh… Cecil, I would love to… but.…”

_“But?”_

“Cecil, I’m leaving tomorrow”

_“Leaving?_” he repeats, and his voice sounds very close to a mixture of fearfulness and panic. _“What do you mean leaving?_”

“My parents came back from their trip to Argentina, my Mama called earlier this week, I asked her if I could come home on my two weeks break to see her and she wanted me to do so I told her I would be there. I’m, uh, planning to surprise my younger siblings, because I haven’t see them in a while” he bites his lower lip after he finishes his rushed explaining.

_“Oh_” and Cecil sounds _so _damn _sad_ that Carlos almost wants to take back what he just said and tell him he will stay in town with him instead, he is obviously not really going to do that, he _does_ want to see his family. “_It’s okay…_” he can hear that it’s totally _not_.

“What about when I come back?” he quickly offers, wanting to make Cecil feel better. “I know I said we could go to that party together, but I will be at my parents’ while it’s happening, so what if we go to a restaurant instead, you and me? I know of a place you would like”

_“That would be neat!”_ a soft pause, before he adds in a rush: “_OhmygoddidIreallyjustsaidthat?!_” Carlos giggles. “_Goodnight, Carlos! Love you!”_

“Goodnight, Cecil, love you too!” he says as the other hangs up, before realizing what them both had just said.

_Oh my god_.

Did he just-? Did they-?

He smiles like an idiot into the darkness of the hallway as he makes his way back to his floor, his stomach seems to be filled up with butterflies and he wants to laugh, embarrassment or delight he is not sure, but he likes it.

He knows what he is going to tell Cecil on their next phone call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything is fine and nothing hurts.


	6. Bittersweet Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos prepares for his trip, but he has to make an important phone call first. Plus, he finds out that not all unplesant things can be forgotten.

He wakes up with a start, gasping for air that doesn’t seem to reach his lungs.

Then he sits up as he pants, familiarizing himself with his surroundings. The dorm is dark, save for the fairy lights above the bed and the orange rays of the streetlights that peek through the closed curtains. Carlos allows himself to fall back into his sheets, wet with sweat. He tries to breathe in, then out, hands trembling as he reaches out for his cellphone. A choked sob escapes his lips as his lower lip is bitten and he weights his options. It’s three-thirty on the goddamn morning, but, after some inner struggle, he still sends a certain _someone _a text message.

_Cecil, are you awake?_

_Can we talk?_

He is being ridiculous, it was just a nightmare, he is nineteen years old, he shouldn’t be seeking reassurance, but he _needs_ it, he needs someone to tell him the monster can’t hurt him.

The sweat is starting to cool off on his skin, so he gets up, kicking the covers to get them out of the way. Lights are turned on, sheets are changed and he decides, despite the hour, to take a quick shower to remove the sticky feeling of the dried sweat from his body.

He is alone in the floor since Dave left the day before for his trip to Disney. Carlos even had the chance to finally meet Grace Cruz in person, they had talked in the phone once or twice when Dave insisted he wanted them to meet. The woman was just lovely, even taking a moment to thank Carlos for keeping her son out of trouble. He smiles as he remembers how nervous his friend looked as he left, mostly because, and he had told the Venezuelan boy about this, he was planning in telling Grace about Earl, nothing wrong there, except that talking about Earl means talking about Roger and Earl’s military career. Dave’s dad was a marine who died while deployed, reason why the blue eyed boy had sworn off falling in love with a soldier, but he had anyways. According to Dave’s theory, Grace may not mind, Earl is not the kind of soldier who gets deployed so that was a point on their favor. However, he isn’t sure how his mom is going to react to Roger…

Once he is out of the shower with fresh clothes and feeling a bit better, he sits on his bed.

Carlos had always thought that having nightmares of bitter past events was something that only happens to other people, he of course had read a few articles on the matter out of curiosity, but he never thought he would be applying it to real life. He takes a deep breath.

Most of what he had read pointed out that dreaming of something in your past it’s your brain’s way of reliving the event, which can often means that there are unresolved feelings towards it. Or, in the same vein, it could be that he has developed a trauma around this certain happening in his life, which, all things considered, it’s the most likely.

His phone loudly rings (he needs to set the sound as loudly as possible so he _does _hear the alarm to wake up in the mornings) and it startles him. Someone is calling him. Early morning and phone calls don’t go together if it’s not for trouble, so he is quick to answer.

“_Carlos?_” comes Cecil’s velvety voice from the other side of the line. “_I just read your message, what’s wrong?”_

“Oh… sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up”, he says, without being able to stop himself as he ponders if he should really tell Cecil the truth, he sighs and decides to do so, he owes him an explanation at least. “I’m sorry, I-… ugh, this is going to sound childish, but, uh, I had a nightmare about, um, something that happened to me a while ago and I was really upset about it. I feel a bit better now, even had a snack and everything, I should be fine, I just don’t want to go to sleep, which won’t be a problem, I was going to get up early anyways to prepare for my trip tomorrow… or rather tonight, I dunno, early morning hours are tricky”.

“_Can I stay on the phone with you and keep you company until then?_” Cecil asks so sweetly and in a voice that sounds like it’s covered in a thick layer of concern that Carlos can’t find it in himself to say _no_.

“Of course, Ceec” he says, as he lies back onto the bed, on top of the fresh sheets, before deciding to get under them.

“_Would you like to talk about it?_”

He sighs again, looking at the cream-colored ceiling.

“I guess it will make me feel better, scientifically speaking, sharing your worries is beneficial to your health. Remember that I told that I lived in Venezuela before?” he asks, waits until Cecil hums a positive response and continues. “Well, did I told _why _I moved here?”

“_…to_ _be a scientist?_” he ventures.

“That’s part of the reason, yes, but… there’s more, we’re having problems both political and resources-wise, basically Venezuela is going through a rough patch, there are blackouts that last for days even, there are problems with the water supply, people are not getting enough to eat. I myself remember that, while staying with my Abuela Carmela, we once had to throw out most of the stuff on the fridge because a blackout lasted way too long and we lost most of the food that needed to be kept at a low temperature” Cecil gasps at this. “It’s not as bad as it sounds, at least not for us, my Mama worked at the hospital as a nurse and my Papa was a cop so we had the resources to buy more stuff, but then…” he sighs again, “back in Venezuela I was in my last year of high school, and I was planning on studying science there as well, but I was aiming more towards becoming a teacher”.

“I can totally imagine you on a classroom, the kids would adore you!”

“Says you”

“_Says me, indeed. What happened then?_”

“April happened, the leader of the party that is opposed to the current political party called the citizens to fight this situation by organizing pacific protests against the government. By this point I was already living here in the States, but I was in the country because I was visiting my Tio Antonio and his wife Norma, their son, my cousin Diego, and his friend Marcos were going to the protest and invited me…, Marcos ended up not going because he had to babysit his nephew, and I don’t usually go to this kind of events, but I went to this one in particular that was held in what used to be my city. A lot of people were there to support the protestors and, to be honest, it was a sight to behold, thousands of people singing and waving flags, kids, parents, students, workers, it made me really proud to be there, to feel like I was part of something, y’know?” he smiles at the memory, but his smile doesn’t last long.

“_Yeah_” Cecil says, “_Protests do have those effects on people, I showed up to a couple of those back when I was in college, what happened then?_”

Carlos lets out a heavy sigh.

“Then, the Guardia Nacional starts to show up, they’re basically anti-riot police officers, but no one was doing nothing wrong, yeah, they were singing songs about the president, his mother and all his relatives, but I don’t think… I don’t think any of that could have prompted what they did…” he takes another a deep breath, trying to get pass the knot in his throat to keep on talking. “They throw tear gas to disperse the multitude and it all went to hell from there” he bites his lips, and it’s almost like he is back there, in the streets of his beloved Maracaibo, watching it all unfold…

He felt like he was in the middle of a war zone, people running away, bumping into each other without caring, children crying in their mother’s arms, boys and girls his age responding at the _Guardia Nacional_’s unprompted attack by throwing stones at them. The acrid smell in the air, the screams of terror, the smoke that didn’t let you see more than a few feet in front of you… He remembers how scared… how little he felt in the middle of the chaos, he remembers running away, pulling Diego with him, not knowing where he got the strength from, but he managed to outrun the officers and hide. Then he remembers the panic when Diego started to complain that his side hurt and he could see _blood _dye his white t-shirt in crimson (later they would find out that he had been grazed by a rubber bullet and, while it wasn’t serious it was still scary as hell), he remembers trying to dial his father’s number with trembling fingers and then explaining to him almost to the point of tears where he was and what was happening…

“_Carlos? Dear, are you still there?_” Cecil asks softly, bringing him back to the present.

“Yeah, sorry, I’m here…” he tries to recompose himself and assess the situation, what the hell does he thinks he is doing? Waking up Cecil in the middle of the night to talk about something that happened _months _ago?! He should be over it already… “Sorry, Ceec, I didn’t mean to worry you with this… I just… I don’t know, I sometimes have nightmares about it still and…” he chokes back a sob, one thing is hearing about police violence and another completely different is seeing it first-hand.

“_Oh, sweetie, no… what you went through is something terrifying, it’s m0re than normal to be upset about it, even after all this time! How did you and Diego get out?”_

“We ran and hide behind a store… Diego was hurt and I was panicking…” it’s hard to talk through the sobs, but he continues, grateful that Cecil is not commenting. “I called my Papa, he used to be in the _Policía Nacional Bolivariana_, figured he would know what to do, so I told him what was happening and he told me to go a few blocks away so he could pick us up, we moved as fast as we could with Diego hurt and all and the whole time I was about to have a panic attack, but I guess adrenaline rush was kicking full force because we managed to get away, you have no idea the relief I felt when I saw my uncle’s truck at the end of the s-street…” he sobs. “So-sorry, I just…”

“_Shhh… it’s okay, my sweet, brave, courageous Carlos…_” he does not really feel like he deserves that praise, but it sooths his nerves, so he allows it to calm him down. “_Do me a favor?_” he nods fervently, before feeling like an idiot when he realizes Cecil can’t see him.

“Anything”.

“_I need you to breathe for me, okay…? Breathe in… yes, good, very good, now out… there, perfect, babe, you’re doing so good_” he praises as Carlos does as he is told. “_There, my dear, do you feel better?_” Carlos hums an affirmation and Cecil sounds relieved. “_Good… have you ever talked with anyone about this?_”

“Yeah, Dave knows, usually he comes to share the bed with me or stays up with me watching TV if I have one of my nightmares… but he isn’t here, he left last night…” he yawns into his fist. “_Nya_, sorry, getting upset makes me sleepy…”

“_You should get some sleep, you have a trip to prepare_”.

“No, I don’t want to dream again”.

“_I will stay right here with you, until you feel like you can fall asleep again_”.

“You don’t have to…”

“_Oh, but I want to! Why will I still be here otherwise?_”

Carlos shrugs, then remembers Cecil can’t see him and he feels like an idiot again.

“Sometimes people do things they don’t want to do because they want to be nice”.

“_I do want to be nice to you, Carlos, but I’m actually doing this because I want to comfort you, nobody should go through that, baby_”.

“I really like when you call me that…” Carlos admits shyly, rolling to his side and curling up into a ball beneath the covers. “Nobody has cared about me the way you do, like, I don’t think anybody ever tried to… oh, what was that word you used, again? Ah, _courting_, yeah. Nobody ever tried to court me before”.

“_I don’t have competence. Good_” the line is silent for a few seconds. “_That made me sound like a creep, ohmygod, sorry, sorry!_” Carlos chuckles a bit at this and Cecil sighs, relieved.

“I wish you were here with me” it’s something a bit blunt to say, given the hour and that _here_ happens to be a lonely dorm room shrouded in darkness, but Carlos can’t find it in himself to care.

“_I am here, dear_”.

“I know, but, like, _physically _here” he explains, choking back down another sob. “I want you to be here and hug me and lie in bed with me and tell me those pretty things you always tell me… I want you here, _mi amor_, I _need _you here” there’s silence on the other side of the line, and Carlos can’t help but think he fucked up. “Cecil?”

“_Fifteen minutes_”.

“What?”

“_I’ll be there in fifteen minutes, don’t fall sleep_”.

And the line goes dead.

* * *

“I was going to warn you, but you hung up on me” Carlos bites his tongue at his own accusatory tone, he didn’t mean it like that… that much. “Did you really had to get all dramatic and do that?” this is asked with a hint of amusement.

“_I’m not dramatic_”, he argues, before sighing and continuing, “_but, yeah, have to admit it was a nice effect I wanted to give_”.

Carlos wasn’t in time to tell Cecil that, despite how much he would love to have him over, they couldn’t because, due to security measures, the University closes the gates to the dorm buildings after 1 a.m. on weekdays and after 3 a.m. on weekends so no one who is not member of the community (be a student, a teacher or a worker) can get in the property. Yeah, Cecil wasn’t going to get in anytime soon.

“Ceec? I’m sorry you drive all the way here just for this If I could I would let you in, but only the dean and part of the headboard are authorized to let people in after curfew, and only if it’s an emergency”.

“_It’s okay, it’s not that far from my apartment, baby, you’ve nothing to apologize for, I’m the dumbass who just launched himself into a night drive without checking first if you even wanted to have me over…_”

“I did wanted you to come over, I want to see you” he quickly retorts. “Guess this would have to wait until I’m back from visiting my parents”.

“_Yeah… so, that nightclub at 9 p.m. the day after you get back, right?_” after confirming it to him, Cecil sighs. “_Two weeks is too long, I’m going to miss you, baby…_”

“I’m going to miss you too, _querido_”

“_Querido?_” Cecil repeats in a broken pronunciation that Carlos immediately finds endearing. “_What does that mean?_”

“It’s, uh, a term of endearment, it means _dear_. Oh, do you… do you not like it?”

“_I love it, Carlos. And what about the one you used before, _mi amor_, I think it was? What does that one mean?_”

“Oh? Hum, did I call you that? Oh, my god, I must have done it without realizing…” Why in the world didn’t he shut up?! It was like a non-spoken agreement they had to not talk about their feelings for each other and he had broken it! Cecil was probably afraid that Carlos might reject him, hell, he probably had already found someone else! His heart aches at the thought of his beloved Cecil with somebody else, but he knows it will be unhealthy to think that just because Cecil came over and wants to comfort him it means that Cecil loves him or something. He takes a deep breath, well, here goes nothing. “It means my… my love, Cecil, that’s what _mi amor _means”.

“_Oh, Carlos_”, is Cecil’s love-struck response. “_You’re my love too! But, uh, I’m probably not going to like the answer but… you meant it platonically, right?_”

“What?”

“_Yeah, you heard my radio drama, you know how I feel about you and you never commented much on it, so I figured you just weren’t interested. I was hoping you would be but, I guess, giving the circumstances in which we had met and how you have never seen how I look like, it makes more sense for you not to be interested in me, I mean, it’s just **me**_”.

“Now, you hear me out, just you? _Just you_ is the most amazing thing in the world. And so what if I haven’t seen how you look like? You’re already the most beautiful man in the world to me” he rants unable to believe that Cecil could think so lowly of himself. “And who are you to say I’m _not interested_? You don’t know that, maybe I am!”

“_Wait, you’re…?_”

“A few days ago, I was texting and, according to Dave, I was also grinning like an idiot so he asked who was I talking to and I said _my boyfriend_…” he confesses, so mad about the whole situation that he can’t find it in himself to feel embarrassed about it.

“_You already have a boyfriend?!_” Cecil interrupts. “_Why didn’t you tell me?! I would have backed up and left you alone! How could you not tell me that befo-?!_”

“It was you who I was texting with when he asked, idiot!” A silence falls between them. “I’m… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to call you that, I’m sorry”.

“_You called me your boyfriend?_” Carlos has never understood how some people seem to believe you can _hear_ a smile, until Cecil says those words, seemingly ignoring the insult and the subsequent apology.

“It was an accident!” he excuses, before clearing his throat. “I guess I-… I just, it’s hard to think about you in a different way, you know? I told you I have never had a boyfriend before and I’m very inexperienced, but, even if we have never seen each other in person, even if I don’t know what you look like, I do feel things for you, Cecil, a lot of things. It’s just… I have this… this thing where every new situation scares me, when my brain is always like _oh hey, this is the worst thing that can happen, and guess what? It’s the most likely scenario! _or it’s like _that was such a stupid thing to say, everyone is going to think you’re stupid now _and when it comes to you its things like, _he probably doesn’t mean it_ or _how can someone as amazing as that be in love with someone like you? _or even _you don’t know how to make a relationship work, how are you going to make this work then?_”

“_…Carlos, I need you to know that I do mean it when I say that you’re perfect or that I am in love with you. I guess you could say I fall more and more in love every day that passes. In this short time I have gotten to know you well and I’m so glad I did, baby, so glad. The idea that you feel things for me makes me so happy, so far I was just fine with simply being your friend_”.

Carlos bites his lower lip, thoughtfully, before deciding that, yeah, at this point the worst thing that could happen is Cecil rejecting him and them both regarding this as just an awkward night for the rest of their lives, but even that possibility seems unlikely.

“Cecil, would you like what I said to be true? Being my boyfriend, I mean?”

“_…are you saying what I think you’re saying?_”

“Cecil… be my boyfriend”.

If this was a movie or a tv-show, this is where the scene would cut to commercial break or to the next most relevant scene. However, this is neither of those things so Carlos is left to drown in his anxiety and the regret of having learn how to speak English in the first place as he waits for Cecil’s answer.

“_Nothing would make me happier, dearest Carlos_”.

And Carlos smiles.

* * *

“I’m going to miss your show” he complains as he walks towards the iron gates of the train station, it’s around 2 a.m. and there’s, unsurprisingly, not much people is on the streets so late at night.

“_Carlos_” he doesn’t know how but his boyfriend –and how marvelous is to be able to finally call Cecil that!-, manages to sound equally exasperated and fond as he speaks. “_The station has a free live-streaming service, I’m going to send you the link, okay? So when it’s time for my show you can just listen there. Also, once you’re on the train, check your messages, I sent you something special to help you past the time. Say hi to your parents and siblings for me, will you? Oh, wait, are you, like, going to tell them about us?_”

“Not yet, because if I tell them that we are dating but I have no idea what you look like, they will get defensive, there’s also the fact that we have an age gap and all that, you know how parents are. But anyways, if you’re up for it, next time I go to see them I will just bring you along, how’s that?”

“_That sounds great! I mean, I could always send you a photo, but I _really _don’t like getting my picture taken_”.

“It’s fine, Ceec, also I can’t wait for our date!”

“_Me neither!_”

“_Cannot _wait” he insists, lowering his voice and biting his lower lip.

“_Oh, me neither_”.

“It’s gonna be _good_”.

“_Oh my god_” he hears him clear his throat, clearly flustered. “_Anyways, you be careful out there, okay? I want you back in one piece for our date! You hear me?”_

“Loud and clear!”

“_Good, see you on our date, goodnight, love_”.

“Goodnight, _mi amor_”.

Carlos’ parents live relatively close, they were lucky that they were able to get out of Venezuela before they closed the Colombian frontier and cancelled all the flights. Carlos’ mother now works in a hospital that is bigger than the one she worked in Venezuela and his father works from home as a security consultant for several companies. They’re just two towns over from where Carlos goes to college, so he has only two and half hours (three if there are a lot of people in the other stations) of travel to do. He has done this trip before, so he is already prepared with a book and whatever Cecil left on his messages to pass the time. He grabs a pair of headphones and connects them to his cellphone, before he opens Cecil’s message, which happens to be an attached file.

_A Scientific Mixtape: for Carlos_. It’s a playlist. He can’t help but grin at the cheesy title as he presses play, knowing the music that Cecil plays on his radio drama, this playlist must be really good.

_“Precious and fragile things, need special handling, my God what have we done to you? We always try to share the tenderest of care, now look what we have put you through. Angels with silver wings, shouldn’t know suffering, I wish I could take the pain for you… Things get damaged, things get broken, I thought we’d manage but words left unspoken, left us so brittle. There was so little left to give. I pray you learn to trust, have faith in both in us and keep room in your heart for two…”_

* * *

His parents are already waiting at the train station to welcome him when he gets to his destination. He knew his father was going to be there, since he is the one who offered to drive to pick him up, but his mother’s presence is a nice surprise. He can’t help the wide smile that takes over his features when he spots them, they smile back, he all but runs towards them, not caring that he is acting like a kid, plus, his mother is already waiting to receive him with open arms.

“_Mi chiquito, mi Carlos…”_ she murmurs into his hair as they hug. _“Bienvenido a casa_”.

He hugs his father next.

“Hello, _mijo_, we missed you, your siblings are going to be delighted when they see you, Fabian missed you a lot, the girls too. Let’s go, I left the car outside the station”

“You’re too thin!” Rosa complains as she wraps an arm around her son’s shoulders while they walk towards the car. “Are you eating well, _cariño_?”

“I’m cutting on caffeine and junk food, actually, and even started playing _fútbol _with the other guys in the dorm”.

“You heard that, Mauri? Our boy is doing really well for his health, oh, I’m so proud!” she gushes as they get in the car. “And I hope you’re also protecting yourself?”

“Mama!” he complains, cheeks aflame as his father chuckles.

“Now, that’s nothing to be ashamed of! How do you think you came into this world? It wasn’t the holy spirit, that’s for sure!” Mauricio’s laughter gets louder as he drives and Carlos, who is in the backseat, glares at the back of his head. “Anyways, how are your friends? Are they still in campus?”

“Nah, Dave is in Disney, Nilanjana is visiting family in Indiana and Rochelle went back to Brooklyn for the remainder of the break”.

They keep talking as they drive back home, and, eventually, he finds himself waking up to the sound of the door next to him opening and his mother smiling down at him.

“Carlitos, sweetie, you fell asleep!”

“I don’t have to carry back to your room, do I?” Mauricio asks teasingly and Carlos shakes his head _no_ as he sleepily gets out of the car.

Once they make it back into the house, Mauricio insists in helping Carlos with his backpack and Rosa does her part in walking him to his old room, where she had previously put fresh sheets and sprayed some air freshener.

“Sweet dreams, _cariño_, now sleep and I will have a great breakfast waiting for you in the morning! Okay?” she says before kissing his forehead and letting him do his own thing.

Carlos all but collapses on his old bed, barely managing to kick off his jeans and shoes and take off his flannel so he can get under the covers in his undershirt and boxer briefs. He doesn’t dream.

* * *

“Does my baby have a boyfriend yet?” Carlos nearly chokes on his homemade _café con leche_ at Rosa’s question. She just smiles, tilting her head as she places a plate in front of him, a plate full of… wait, are those…? “Your Papa made you some _tortas fritas_, and we have some _alfajores _your Abuela Leticia sent for you, so eat up! Cutting on junk food doesn’t mean you can’t let Mama and Papa spoil you a bit, _mi vida_!”

He smiles as he grabs one of the tortas fritas, thanking his mother as he takes a bite. Yeah, this is what home definitely tastes like. He is munching happily on the sugary treat when his father comes in a ruffles his hair affectionately.

“Is my boy liking what I cooked for him?” he asks, smiling as he accepts the cup of coffee his wife is offering, “_Gracias, querida_” she rewards him with a kiss on the cheek.

He has always lived in a bi-cultural environment, he muses as he drinks some more from his cup. Which is to be expected, really, while his mother had grown up in Venezuela like he did, his father was born and raised in a small town in Argentina in which his mother (Carlos’ grandmother) still lives. His family is pretty close to each other and Carlos has been tried to stay close despite not living with his parents anymore, he dutifully calls at least once a week, usually on Sundays, on birthdays and comes home for holidays. He calls his grandparents almost as often and every once in a while he makes sure he leaves some likes on his sisters’ social medias.

“So” Carlos perks up to attention when his father speaks, “is anyone distracting my son from his studies?”

It takes him a moment to understand that his father is subtly asking him if he is seeing someone.

“Papa!”

“I asked him the same thing!” Rosa complains, she frowns. “I know we were strict when it came to boyfriends before, Carlos, but it was mostly so you wouldn’t get hurt and, let’s be honest, we wanted you to concentrate on your studies and on getting your scholarship, but, even if it pains me to say it, you’re all grown up now, you don’t have to get an okay from us to date. Actually, you should date, spending all day studying is no good for you!”

“I…” he clears his throat, “I am, uh, I am seeing someone…” _seeing _is not exactly the verb he should be using, but whatever.

“Oh, my god, really?!”

“…yes?”

He can’t help but smile when happy and proud smiles appear on his parents’ faces.

“What’s his name?” asks Mauricio, his smile not faltering.

“…Cecil Palmer”

“Is he in any of your classes? How did you two meet?” continues Rosa, clutching her hands to his chest.

“In the library and… no, he… uh, he is older than me”.

“How much older?” asks this time Mauricio, his smile gone and replaced by a frown. Carlos gulps, his father has always been the stricter of the two when it came to boyfriends. “He isn’t one of your teachers, right?”

“What?! Eww! Papa, what the heck, no!” he complains, scrunching his nose in disgust. How can his father think he would date a teacher? He is not that desperate for credits. “Cecil is twenty-four, he works as a radio host but he is a journalist”.

“Oh” says Rosa, clearly relieved, “that’s just five years”.

“And he has a stable job too. Good” he nods.

“Do you have a picture I can see?”

“No, he doesn’t like getting his picture taken” he quickly corrects, surprised at how easy it is to talk about his and Cecil’s peculiar relationship when you skip a few details. “But I can show you a picture of the teddy bear he gifted me…”

“Aw, that sounds so sweet, show me, show me!” he pulls out his phone and shows his mother the picture he took of _The Professor_, or, more accurately, the picture Dave took of him holding the teddy bear while he thought Carlos wasn’t looking. “Aw! Look, Mauri, Look!” she says, pointing at the touchscreen and her husband smiles at her enthusiasm.

A sudden gasp and the shout of _Carlos!_ is all the warning the Venezuelan boy gets before something heavy and small slams into his side, he smiles when he recognizes his little brother, who is now hugging his waist affectionately. He ruffles his hair. Fabian is the youngest of the family, with only ten years of age.

“I will make you some chocolate milk, Fabi, why don’t you go wake up your sisters while I do that, hm?” Rosa says as her youngest son smiles and makes a run for the girls’ bedroom.

Carlos only gets a few more minutes to finish his torta frita before two squealing girls run into the kitchen shouting for their older brother.

“I thought Fabian was kidding!” says Agustina, who is almost seventeen and who will be the next one to go to college in the family.

“I can’t believe you’re here!” says Dolores, fourteen years of age and very interested in books and learning.

Later, at evening, and as Rosa’s _pabellón criollo_ is slowly cooked in the kitchen, Carlos is messing with his laptop, which he brought with him, it has _way_ too much important information in it to risk missing it despite his dorm floor being locked while he and Dave are away. He can’t help the smile that tugs at the corner of his lips when the Wi-Fi automatically connects, seems like his parents hadn’t bothered in changing the passwords. He uses the link Cecil gave him and enters the radio station’s live streaming service. His parents are sitting in the living room with him, curious about his boyfriend.

“I will go check on the food real quick, tell me if you can get the signal!” says Rosa.

Fabian is playing on the floor with some toy cars, Dolores has a stack of books he has been showing Carlos that are the ones she has been reading since he last visited and Agustina just left, she was preparing for an outing with her friends, given that she didn’t know Carlos was coming she couldn’t cancel on time, Carlos told her to go ahead and have fun, but, y’know, be responsible about it.

“I think I got it!” he announces as the evening news show music comes to an end.

“_…and that’s it for traffic! So, you know, be careful out there tonight, folks!_”

“Oh!” says Rosa, who has come back into the room, upon hearing Cecil, and Carlos smiles, knowing his boyfriend’s voice does have that effect on people.

He texts a quick message: _I’m listening._ Carlos immediately regrets it when he realizes how creepy it sounds but the voice in the radio doesn’t let him dwell on it too much.

“_Just to be clear, that sound just now was_ definitely not_ my cellphone, okay, listeners? I’m a professional radio host and I would never-… oh! My, my, it seems I have forgotten something in the hurry to report the news to you…_” Cecil deepens his voice in the last sentence, in that way that Carlos knows Cecil does when he is about to say something _suggestive_, and he cocks an eyebrow, looking at his parents who smile at him. “_I would like to send a special thank you to our listeners that are getting us via the live streaming online service, even those listening to us from outside of town, all the support towards our station is welcome! Especially from you, do I even have to say your name, my dearest?_” something that sounds an awful lot like an embarrassed squeak comes out of Carlos’ lips as he covers his face with his hands to cover his reddening cheeks and his mother and sister let out a couple of _aww_s.

“He is so sweet!” Dolores gushes.

“Embarrassing is what he is!” Carlos complains, face still covered. “He is going to get in trouble with his boss!”

“Ah, that’s it!” Mauricio decides. “I like him!”

Carlos takes out his cellphone and texts: _cut it out, my parents are listening to you!_

_Wait, you told them about me?_

_Duh! They’re going to tease me forever now, thanks._

_YOU TOLD THEM ABOUT ME?!_

_…should I not have?_

_The prerecorded message is about to end, we will talk later okay?_

_Okay_, Carlos thinks_, so I have fucked up._

_To clarify, I’m not mad, I’m just surprised, love you!_

Then, again, maybe not.

More later in the night, Carlos wakes up and goes to get a glass a water and is surprised by Agustina, who is angrily sipping a glass of her own, dressed in her tank top and sweatpants that she wears to sleep. It’s barely two a.m., which is rare, since every time Carlos asks Rosa about Agustina, their mother complains that she is always pushing the limits when her curfew is involved. She doesn’t have curfew until three, so he is immediately worried.

“You okay?” he asks softly, making her turn to face him, she looks surprised, but then she smiles.

“Yeah, I just had to come home earlier” she explains.

“Do you want to talk?” Carlos asks as he serves himself a glass of juice from the fridge. She sighs and nods, sitting on the breakfast table. “Was someone mean to you, Agus?”

“Nope! But if you want I can give you all the gossip” Carlos nods and Agustina beams. “Okay, so my friend Eileen likes this guy named Zachary, he is a nerd, but his best friend is on the football team and she is like _go talk to his friend so he talks to me_ and as the lovely friend I am I go because this Ryan guy is kinda good looking, y’know?” he nods, even though he leans more towards men that speak in poetry and call him perfect on the radio than jocks. “So, I’m talking to Ryan and we’re having a good time, he even took me to the dancefloor! And then we decided to go look for our friends who, mind you, are making out in the top floor of the house” they both laugh at this. “We manage to coerce them both into going back to the dancefloor and we four are having a good time now and I’m about to give Ryan my number ‘cause he is such a gentleman he didn’t even ask for it when suddenly there’s flashing blue and red lights because the nosy bitch next door called the cops on us, _the nerve of that woman_! So then someone yells _scatter!_ and we all run away like scared little mice, or try to, because some jerk was like _I’m not going back to jail!_ and he pushed both me and Eileen into the pool! Luckily, Ryan and Zachary help us out, and even offered to take us home, I’m just angry the party was cut short, I didn’t even manage to give him my number! Whatever, it just gives us both Eileen and myself an excuse to talk to them next time we see them! Anyways, sorry that I missed whatever you were showing Mama and Papa earlier, what was it again?”

“My boyfriend is a radio host and I was showing them his evening show but, uh, he also has a radio drama that he writes himself” he explains patiently, “and he wrote that the character he plays is in love with a scientist named Carlos, literally, he used it to tell me he is in love with me”.

“Shut up!”

“I have the recording if you want to listen to it”.

“I do, I do!”

* * *

Carlos wakes up early, the sun is already up and it’s rays are pouring from the window, where nobody ever bothered to install some blinds. He doesn’t care much, he always liked to have the sun waking him up on summer’s mornings. He lounges in bed for a while, enjoying being in his own room, because the dorm is nice and all, but it doesn’t compare to being home with the people he loves. He is glad he doesn’t live with his siblings anymore, though, they get along so much better now that they don’t have to fight over bathroom use in the mornings.

After a while, he decides to go downstairs to the kitchen, see if there’s anything to eat. His parents had been fulfilling their word and are spoiling him with all sorts of tasty plates. He just hopes he doesn’t put any extra weight once he goes back to campus, he is already chubby as it is.

“I don’t know, Rosa, I don’t like that he is older than Carlos…”

Carlos freezes in the stairs when he hears his father mention him.

“You seemed okay with it when Carlos mentioned him, he looks happy when he talks about him, Mauri”, his mother retorts. “Besides, remember what we told him, he is old enough to take his own decisions, if we say anything he may get angry with us, I don’t want my baby to hate me just because you suddenly decided you don’t like his boyfriend”. Now, he frowns. What is going on? His father had said he likes Cecil! His mother’s next words take a serious tone, almost a warning, “Mauricio, we had known for years that Carlos likes men, don’t get all worked up just because he now wants to bring one home to meet us”, Carlos feels as if someone punched him in the stomach, it’s true that he was afraid of coming out to his father but he had taken it well when he did, even telling him that he didn’t care because he is his son and he loves him, he had never brought a boyfriend home before (not that he had any he could bring), is his father having seconds thoughts now that he wants to do so?

“Rosa, for fuck’s sake, we talked about this! I don’t care if my son is gay, what I care about is that my son doesn’t get hurt!” Carlos lets out a shaky breath he didn’t know he was holding, trying to keep silent as his parents argue. “Is cute that he has fallen in love and all that, but this guy is older and Carlos haven’t dated before, I don’t want him taking advantage of our boy”.

“Cecil isn’t taking advantage of me!” Carlos can’t help but exclaiming as he bursts into the kitchen.

Rosa and Mauricio looks at him, surprised at the outburst.

“Carlos, sweetie, sorry, your Papa doesn’t mean that, okay?”

“I do mean that, Rosa, don’t twist my words” Mauricio says, making his wife glare at him.

“If I’m old enough, then why don’t you guys trust me when I tell you that Cecil is in love with me?”

A silence fills the kitchen and Mauricio has a flash of guilt at his son’s hurt tone of voice. Carlos weighs his options, usually when he lived here if he had a fight with his parents he would just glare at them and go back to his room until someone felt like apologizing or rectifying the mistake. He could grab one of those muffins on the table and do that now, or he could go out to take a walk, who is going to stop him? 

He takes a deep breath, before pulling the chair in front of his parents and sitting down.

“Just because I’m your kid doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me like I’m an adult” he says, both of his parents look surprised at this, so he continues. “Papa, please tell me, what’s the problem? Is it really because Cecil is older? Or… or is it because Cecil… is a man?”

“Carlos, _mijo_, of course no!” Mauricio quickly clarifies. “You’re my son, nothing will change that, not even you dating another man. It’s just that… he is older, Carlos, he may want things you… things you’re not ready for and I don’t want you to feel rushed into… uh, experiencing things just because your boyfriend wants them, I mean, I know guys your age can be pushy too, but since he is older it may be easier for you to give in into things he wants”.

Carlos smiles and reaches over the table to place his hand over his father’s. His first fight with Cecil was for this exact same reason, but his parents don’t need to know all that.

“Thanks for worrying for me, Papa, but you don’t have to, Cecil is very sweet and he gives me my space, we have been talking for months and he hasn’t even kissed me yet!”

“Aaaand that’s more information than I needed, mijo” he retorts, busying himself with pouring another mate for his wife and terminating the topic.

“He sounds sweet” Rosa agrees, “this is not to say that everything is fine, I may have said I liked him, but I want to meet him first before giving you my approval, that said, do you want breakfast, _cariño_? I know you don’t drink mate, but how about some mate cocido?”

“Sounds great” he says through a mouthful of muffin.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full!”

Carlos shrugs and smiles sheepishly at his mother, then he swallows and looks at his father.

“I know you’re worried, but can you wait until you meet him to worry more? Just… just trust me on this one, Papa, he is older, yes, but we love each other a lot”.

Mauricio sighs.

“I can try, mijo”.

* * *

_“Por favor, cuando puedas llámame, que mi soledad y yo sin ti no nos llevamos bien. Me pasó el día planeando nuestro encuentro imaginario… Te besaré, como nadie en este mundo te besó. Te amaré, con el cuerpo, con la mente, con la piel y el corazón…_” Carlos smiles as he hears the music on the background of the call, just before he hears that honeyed voice he called for. “_Carlos?_”

“Hi, sweetie, I see you liked that song I recommended you” he can help the proud grin in his face as he says those words.

“_I love it! It sounds so romantic! Which, to be honest, I’m assuming is a song about love, I have actually no idea what it says”_ that makes him giggle.

“I promise I will translate it for you when we see each other” he promises, and he means it. Cecil whines impatiently. “Okay, okay, fine, Jesus, you’re so impatient, it’s a song about two lovers, one is in Madrid and his partner is somewhere else, the singer says he spends the day planning their _imaginary meeting_ and that when they do meet he… uh, well…” he glances at his bedroom door, it’s too early in the morning for any of his siblings to be up and his parents had left, so no one is going to hear him. “Basically the chorus says… _I will kiss you like no one in this world has kissed you before. I will love you, with my body, with my mind, with my skin and my heart_, that part, uh, it makes me think of you, because when we meet for real I-… I want to hold you and I never want to let you go”, he gulps, no matter what he still gets nervous when he says such things to Cecil, fearing that he is going too fast, saying too much.

“_Oh my god, it **is**_ _romantic! Nobody had said such a thing to me before_” is the dreamy sigh that answers him and he lets out a relieved breath. “_I love when you talk to me like that, baby…”_ he murmurs fondly.

“Yeah?” he answers, not knowing what else to say.

“_Uh-huh, but… uh, I wanted to talk to you about something else, say, you told your parents about me? What did they say?_”

“Oh… _that_” he says.

“_Yeah, **that**_”, Cecil pauses. “_What did they say? Did you told them I’m older or…?_”

“I did, uh, they want to meet you, they want you to come over for Thanksgiving and all that…, I mean, we don’t celebrate that but Mama wants to use it as an excuse for me to come home from college” he explains. “Anyways, we will have time to talk about that, tell me about your day?”

“_Alright, alright, where should I start, dearest?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that Carlos listen to in the train is "Precious" by Depeche Mode and the song they talk about in the last scene is "Mi Soledad y yo" by Alejandro Sanz.
> 
> I want you all to know that I DO read the comments and you're all helping me make a lot of progress, you see, English is not my first language and this is my second attempt at writing purely in English (with some Spanish thrown around as well), so thank you all for your kind words and encouragement!


	7. One Wild Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally the day is here.

Carlos taps his fingers in the wooden surface of the bar, an almost empty bottle of Coca Cola by his side. He has been waiting for already an _hour_; he checks his clock again, five minutes until ten o’ clock. This bar has a very strict policy, when the clock strikes ten all the people under the age of 21 have to leave or they will be _escorted _out, Carlos doesn’t want any trouble so he finishes what’s left of his coke and pays for his drink, then gets down for the chair.

_Common love isn’t for us, we created something phenomenal; don’t you agree? Don’t you agree? You got me feeling diamond rich, nothing on this planet compares to it… don’t you agree? Don’t you agree?_

A lot of people are rushing to the dancefloor once the new song starts; he smiles at them as he, unable to help himself, searches through the crowd, not that he could recognize Cecil if he shows up anyways. Pursuing his lips, he starts walking towards the exit, carefully minding his step, the last thing he needs is to bump into something.

_ Who needs to go to bed when I got you next to me?_

He feels a knot on his stomach, must be the fact that Cecil’s absence has upset him, probably. Maybe he got caught up in the radio station? The evening radio show ended up like an hour ago? Maybe something else had come up? Oh! Maybe he had sent a message and he didn’t hear his cellphone! Yep, that must be it… He takes out his phone, deciding to deal with this by just telling Cecil that they will meet up somewhere else, somewhere close, he looks around, a little lost. Spotting the exit he looks back at the smartphone in his hand, but he then realizes that his phone touchscreen is not turning on. He frowns and presses the button again, this time it does turn on, displaying a white icon of a phone battery with a single red line that reads _0%_.

Dammit.

Panic swells in his chest, how can this happen?! He is sure he connected his phone to the charger while he took a nap this afternoon, did he not? Was the charger improperly connected?

In his panic, he stops looking where he is going and crashes against someone. Carlos starts stuttering apologies, before realizing he can’t probably hear him over the loud music playing through the speakers; he even has to look up to look him in the eye. The guy only smiles, a bright white smile, the kind you will see in a toothpaste commercial, then lifts his hand and Carlos, out of reflex imitates him, then feeling a wave of embarrassment wash over him because _what the fuck is he doing_, but the guy never stops smiling as he takes his hand and… _oh_… takes him to the dancefloor.

Carlos quickly stores his cellphone on the front pocket of his jeans as he stumbles behind the guy, he usually avoids dancefloors since he is always afraid of embarrassing himself. He tries to tell his sudden companion that he doesn’t dances, but then again, the music is too loud, so he winces, guess he will have to pretend for a bit that he is a skilled dancer.

While clumsily trying to follow the guy’s steps, he can’t help but think that if his abuela, who was a professional tango dancer in her youth, saw him she would smack him in the head with her cane.

However, he slowly gets used to the music and even surprises his partner with a few moves, yeah, this is _fun_. More so, he is even comfortable with having the guy’s hands on his waist, despite his touch averseness.

_ All night I’ll riot with you, I know you got my back and you know I got you. So come on, come on, come on, let’s get physical! Lights out and follow the noise, baby keep on dancing like you ain’t got a choice. So come on, come on, let’s get physical!_

They have to squeeze together when more people come into the dancefloor, that’s when Carlos notices his dance partner has a pair of really pretty blue eyes. He likes blue eyes.

_Adrenaline keeps rushing in, love the simulation we’re dreaming in, don’t you agree? Don’t you agree? I don’t wanna live another life, ‘cause this one is pretty nice, living it up._

He smiles at him and the guy smiles back, the young scientist can’t help but think he would like to know his name.

“What’s your name?” he asks, but he only smiles as he leans down to whisper in his ear, so close he can feel the warmth and the minty smell of his breath, even a hint of his cologne, but even when he is so close he can’t make any of the words he is saying, he can however make out that he has a very deep voice. “What?”

“Can I buy you a drink?” the guy repeats.

“Drink?” he also repeats, wait… Drink! He has a watch with him, mostly because he hates having to take out his cellphone just to see the time, so he lifts his wrist and… Oh, god, it’s already past ten!

Gently pulling away he mutters an excuse the guy most likely didn’t hear and then hurries to the door with the brightly glowing _EXIT_ sign, of course he isn’t _running_, that would be too suspicious to anyone who can see his ID, duh.

Once outside, he breathes in and out in the cold night air. That was… well, that was quite the experience, guess he is not as lost in social situations as he thought he was, dancing with that guy… a blond, he now recalls, a cute one at that, was… nice, very nice. Yeah, the guy got a little too personal too quickly but is not like they kissed or anything, even if the guy looked like he wanted to, getting so close and all.

He feels a chill, as if someone had poured a bucket of ice down his back. Oh, _dios_, what about Cecil? He had forgotten about Cecil! What if he came by and saw him dancing with the cute blond and thought Carlos was cheating?! He would never cheat on a boyfriend! Carlos is sure he is not the cheating kind… but does Cecil know? Oh, and he doesn’t have his phone at hand to call him!

He sits on some discarded wooden crates, feeling disgusted with himself, like he is going to throw up.

If you get down to the basics he _did_ cheat on Cecil. Carlos is a _cheater_. He wants to go back in time and change what he did, but he knows that’s not possible, there’s no amount of science that can help him undo what has been done…

“Hey, Carlos, are you okay?”

The young scientist looks up, only to see the blond he was dancing with barely a few minutes ago. They stare at each other for a few moments, before the blond comes and sits next to him, this time, he keeps his distance. Why would he follow him? You don’t follow someone who rather rudely rejected you out of a club, so he only manages to choke out…

“What?”

“I didn’t scare you, did I?”

Then it clicks.

Blond knows his name, and it surprises him. How does that guy even know his-…? That’s when he realizes there’s only _one_ damn person in this club who would know his name.

“Cecil?” he asks, embarrassed and feeling like an idiot.

The blond only smiles.

Carlos is an idiot, clearly.

* * *

“So your boss delayed you at the station?” he repeats, the hint of a question in his words is merely a formality, he had thought of that possibility.

“Yeah, but when I called you weren’t answering your phone, so I was starting to get worried” Cecil explains, sitting across from him, thumb stroking gently over Carlos’ knuckles as they hold hands over the table. “Imagine my surprise when the perfect man stumbles right into my arms”.

“I think I should be the one saying that” he shots back, and Cecil’s cheeks turn slightly pink, making him smile.

There’s a 24-hour service Arby’s on the opposite side of the block to the club, so that’s where they both are now. He ordered a tall chocolate milkshake, a bit hesitant to do so, since he had tried to be healthy, mostly so he could lose some weight, he had the stupid idea of trying to be the Perfect Carlos that Cecil seemed to believe he was, but then his boyfriend ordered a coffee and chocolate milkshake and three triple chocolate cookies, asking him if he wanted to share, so he figured it was all good.

The place is warmer than the outside since a light but powerful rain has decided to keep them company, and there’s not many people around, there’s a giggling group of girls that look like they just came out of the club as well and a couple that seem to be having a good time despite the rain, the girl laughs as she playfully smacks her male companion on the shoulder, and he grins at her. They had sit as far from anyone as possible, enjoying each other’s presence.

The pitter-patter of the raindrops hitting the glass wall they’re sitting next to intensifies, and Carlos stares for a few seconds outside, before turning back to Cecil, whose blue eyes are much more interesting than the rain to him.

“So…” Cecil starts, “what do you think?”

“About what, _querido_?”, his boyfriend’s lips twitch at the corner on the hint of a smile.

“About how I look, I mean, I’m not Leonardo DiCaprio but I guess I’m not _that_ bad either, so I was hoping you wouldn’t be put off by me…”

“Cecil… oh, my god, how can you say that? You’re beautiful” he manages to say. “Is both my personal and scientific opinion that you’re gorgeous, I could literally draw a chart comparing different beauty standards and I won’t be able to place you because you would be _off the charts_, literally”.

“Aw! You say the sweetest things to me!”

“Plus, don’t know if I told you, but according to my friends, I happen to like them blond…” Cecil blushes escalates from a soft to a bright pink and Carlos smirks, making his boyfriend blush makes him both proud and amused. “Yeah, they say all evidence points to it, that evidence being that all the musicians and actors I like are blond, but do you want to know a secret?” that last part is whispered as he leans forward on the table, Cecil nods and imitates him. “I like them better when they have _pretty blue eyes_ to match” he winks and smirks when Cecil’s cheeks go a bright red.

“Carlos!” he exclaims softly, covering his face.

He thought that, once they finally met up, it was going to be extremely awkward, but they have been talking for _months_, and through _texts_ and _calls_ no less, Carlos didn’t feel embarrassed talking to Cecil in the phone, he didn’t felt that fear of rejection that usually happens in a face-to-face conversation, it was easy, it was comfortable, nice even, and, once the initial nervousness and awkwardness had passed, the young scientist found out just how easy talking to Cecil in person was, it was extremely easy to fall back into their usual conversation patterns.

* * *

“Welcome!” he says as he opens the door of the apartment for him.

Carlos figured they would go on a few more dates before he got to know Cecil’s apartment, but they never go with the rules of _normal _relationships, he guesses. So he crosses the doorframe into the place. It’s quiet and dark.

“_Con permiso_” he answers out of habit, realizing he used Spanish, he is about to correct himself, but Cecil surprises him yet again.

“_Mi casa es tu casa_”.

“I did not know you spoke Spanish!”

“I do not, just a few phrases” he admits, shrugging as he closes and locks the door. Cecil starts taking off his elegant blazer, but pauses. “You’re all wet, do you, uh, want to take a shower or something?”

They were caught in the rain in the way back to Cecil’s car after they exited the Arby’s, so Carlos’ clothes and hair are slightly damp.

“Uh, no, it’s okay, but, um, do you maybe have something you can lend me to wear? I’m…, getting a bit cold”.

“Of course, come this way”.

They walk into the apart and down a short hallway that leads to Cecil’s bedroom door, he opens and lets Carlos in. The bedroom looks very cozy and homey to him with warm colors on the walls and the floor, the perfect place to rest after a long day at work. He also notices the balcony window and the door to the walk-in closet where Cecil is currently busying himself with looking through as Carlos waits, leaning against the door frame with crossed arms. He secretly wonders if Cecil will find something that he can actually wear, because his boyfriend is taller, but pretty slim and Carlos is more on the chubby side. Huh, it’s weird, the difference that exists between calling Cecil his boyfriend when he only knew him through text messages and calling him his boyfriend now that he is in front of him.

As Cecil rummages through his closet, Carlos allows his eyes to wander the small room. His own closet consists of precariously piled flannels, jeans and t-shirts with either geeky stuff or nerdy science puns, and he shares it with Dave (who Carlos no longer believes when he says that he grabbed his flannels on accident, Dave doesn’t own any, twinks don’t wear flannels), so the idea that every single clothing item on the room belongs to Cecil is, well…, weird.

There is wall that’s entirely composed of shelves with shoes, high heels and oxfords alike, there are two rows of hangers at each side one is shorter because it counts with three drawers, where Cecil is currently looking through.

“Um, hey, do you want to stay the night?” is a question uttered so shyly that he almost misses it, Cecil doesn’t look at him while he asks.

“If you are willing to have me over then sure” he jokes, awkwardly scratching his jaw, “it’s okay if I stay?” not that he has anywhere else to go and he is not going to ask Cecil to give him a ride back to campus, he is still in time to get there before security closes the gates for the night, plenty of time actually, he could go back walking even, but he wants to stay here, with Cecil, with his boyfriend.

“Of course it is! More than okay, even!” Cecil quickly responds, before handing him a big white t-shirt and nothing else. “I don’t have any pants that could fit you, sorry” he apologizes, but Carlos just shrugs it off, accepting the cloth. “Um, I will take a shower, you can change here, if you want. Oh, and if you’re still hungry there’s some vegan muffins in the kitchen”.

“Thanks, babe”.

Cecil perks up at the pet name, even it’s not the first time that he uses it, and smiling, approaches him, placing a chaste kiss in his cheek, making him smile in turn.

“Is… that okay?”

“More than okay, _mi amor_” he offers his cheek for Cecil to kiss him again and he complies.

Cecil takes his pajamas from the foot of the bed and goes to the in suite bathroom while Carlos changes into the white t-shirt, leaving his soaked sweater, flannel and jeans in the hamper. The t-shirt fits him actually quite nicely, if not a bit tight, and reaches almost to his knees, like a dress of sorts. It’s a bit weird to be walking around someone else’s house in just the lent t-shirt and his boxers and socks, but he tries to shrug it off as he goes onto the living room, fully equipped with a comfy leather sofa, a 41’’ television and a big bookshelf full of titles. It’s this last one the one that grabs his attention the most.

Even though he hasn’t told anyone about it, one of the things Carlos loves the most about his Cecil is how smart he is.

Of course, Carlos is the one in the relationship with the knowledge of formulas, chemicals, equations and the like, but, Cecil…, lovely, smart Cecil, has the advantages in the areas Carlos can only dream of. Just by taking a look at his bookshelf you can see how much of a cultured man he is, _you can know a lot about someone by knowing what kind of books they read,_ his Abuela Carmela would say.

In front of him there are dozens of books on varied topics; art, history, foreign language dictionaries, literature classics, music, anthropology, philosophy… the list goes on. He smiles, taking out a book labeled _Latin American Artists of the 20th Century_ and passes the pages, seeing if he can recognize any of the names from his old art classes back in elementary. He does recognize names like _Diego Rivera _and _Frida Khalo_ and the name _Antonio Berni_ does ring a bell or two on his mind.

A sudden noise from next to the bookshelf startles and just now he notices the small bed for a pet that lies next to it. He frowns, it would make sense to have that if Cecil’s dog Marvin didn’t pass away last year, but he is quick to realize who is occupying the bed now. He didn’t saw it at first, curled up like it was in between the blankets, but when he does, he freezes. It’s a cat, a small pink cat, a kitten, maybe? He puts the book on the shelf again and crunches next to the pet bed.

He has been allergic to cats all his life.

But he just knows he won’t be allergic to _this one_.

“_Hola, chiquito_” he greets, slightly touching it’s side with a fingertip. The furless cat pokes their head from under the blankets with a quiet mewl, apparently liking the attention, and Carlos smiles as he softly caresses their little head. The poor kitty has a scar where one of his eyes should be and his heart aches at the sight, who would hurt such a sweet kitty? He gently lifts them from their bed and brings them up to his chest, holding them. “_Pobrecito…_” he coos,”…_qué gatito tan valiente…_”.

“I see that you have met Khoshek” Cecil says from behind him, he looks over his shoulder to see him still toweling his hair off and clad in a black t-shirt and purple booty shorts. He gulps trying not to look too much, while the other man drapes the towel over his shoulder and comes to stand next to him, scratching Khoshek’s chin, causing him to purr and nuzzle against Carlos’ chest. “It seems to me that he likes you. He is the sweetest little boy, isn’t he?”

“I think it’s only because I’m wearing your shirt and I probably smell like you…” he explains, “but, uh, what happened to his eye?”

“What do you mean?”

“His eye, Cecil, why is it missing?”

“Are you in the mood for a story?” he asks back and Carlos nods. He guides him to sit with him on the couch, by placing a hand against the small of his back. The couch is even comfier than it looks and Carlos rests his back against the cushions, his legs tucked underneath him and the kitten still in his arms, which by now has started to purr as his owner’s boyfriend’s hand runs through his furless head and spine. “It all starts some time ago, one of my interns, _Chad_, found Khoshekh in the station bathroom” he starts, hand coming to scratch the kitty’s chin, “Sphynx cats like Khoshekh are _very_ high maintenance, you have to be _really_ committed to having one. For starters, you have to bathe them and give them a special diet, just so you get an idea, Khoshekh takes two bubble baths a week and only eats gourmet kitty food”.

“Jesus Christ, he lives better than I do!” Carlos jokes, making Cecil laugh.

Technically, it’s not a lie, he is comfortable living in the dorm, but more than once the water ran cold when he wanted to take a shower (because some asshole on the floor below liked to take showers almost at the same time as Carlos, he hadn’t found who it was yet, but he will) and he has sometimes forgotten to buy lunch for the weekend (the cafeteria only works on weekdays) because he got too caught up in a project or paper.

“He wasn’t moving much” Cecil retells sadly. “He was only weeks old and very malnourished, whoever owned him before wasn’t putting his heart into it or even any effort at all” he can see the anger sparkling in his boyfriend’s eyes, his hand retracting from where it scratched the cat to rest over his thigh and, just like the other one, to turn into a fist. “Chad then heard the girls, my other interns, Maureen and Dana saying hi to me, so he decided to ask me about what to do, we put him in on a cardboard box, he was very hurt, his eye was already missing, and the scar you see on his paw? It was still fresh. We thought that maybe he got into a fight with a dog or a bigger cat, though I haven’t seen any strays near the station…” he thinks out loud. “Then Intern Kareem came in and suggested we could take him to see Dr. Joanna Rey, she has a nearby vet clinic and has even been on my show a couple times since I met her that night. Anyways, I went and she immediately prepared him for surgery, I had to do the show, so, I told Dr. Rey that I myself would take care of any bills and let my number to her secretary so they could contact me to tell me when he was out of surgery”.

“And that’s how you became a dad?”

Cecil laughs.

“Yes, that’s basically it” he looks down to the cat, smiling. “Oh, look, he is doing the thing!”

“What?”

Khoshekh has curled up into a ball in Carlos’ lap, in a way his big ears and paws are not visible.

“Oh, that cute thing he does, I call it his _potato_ _stance_, because he just curls up and turns into a potato”.

“A cute potato, though”.

“Exactly!” he looks around, as if trying to remember something. “Um, you told me once you would like to see my record collection, would you like to do that now?”

“Sure! Are you going to teach me how to dance to a Sinatra song too? I listened to some of his songs to get an idea, but I’m a little lost” he admits as he gently takes the potato from his lap to leave it on the couch, where he stretched, turning once more into a cat, before curling up again.

“Of course, dearest” he answers with a huge smile as he turns on the vinyl player. “Come here” he prompts, opening his arms for Carlos, who quickly complies, “okay, one hand here” the older man instructs, placing one of Carlos’ dark skinned hands over his shoulder, “and the other here” this time he takes his free hand and entangles their fingers. “There we go, let me guide you”.

They start swaying from side to side and, Carlos has to be honest, this is ridiculous. He is by no means a skilled dancer, even considering the fact that he took classes as a child (the only reason he even attended was because his grandmother Leticia ran the Academy), he is too chubby and tiny to actually look coordinated. Cecil, on the other hand, slim and tall, moves with a grace he has only seen in movies.

“_…like a lazy ocean hugs the shore, hold me close, sway me more…_” Cecil starts to sing along and Carlos gasps, earning a wink from his boyfriend. He knew Cecil’s voice was amazing but that was because he hasn’t heard him sing yet. “_like a flower bending in the breeze, bend with me, sway with ease. When we dance you have a way with me, stay with me, sway with me… other dancers may be on the floor, dear, but my eyes will see only you…_”

Carlos feels like he is all but walking on the air, they may as well be dancing in some 40’s ballroom with a real orchestra playing instead of being in Cecil’s cozy living room listening to the record player. Damn, Cecil is so good at this; he wishes he could remember more of what he learned in his Grandma’s dancing school, if he could only remember the steps for Argentinian tango…

He fills inadequate all of sudden. Cecil is amazing, both physically and intellectually, if his looks, the ability he is showing to dance and the giant bookshelf behind them was any indication.

They stop.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Oh? Um, it’s nothing…” he says, disentangling himself from Cecil, before wrapping both arms around his waist and hugging him tight. Great, they were having fun and now his anxiety had to kick on full force and ruin it, can’t he do _anything_ right? “You’re amazing” he murmurs, nuzzling against Cecil’s chest.

“So are you, my dear”, he compliments back, fingers gently tangling in his curls, and, for a moment, the words sound true to him. He likes the sensation of knowing that, no matter, what, Cecil still likes him. They have been talking for _months_ now, if he wanted to, I don’t know, _run away screaming_, he would probably have already done it by now, right? He could have _ghosted _him or something. “Have you danced before? It definitely shows!”

“I have, yeah, but in which way does it show? I stepped on your toes like five times”.

“Guess you’re just a bit out of practice, but you did pretty well!” alright, that made Carlos smile. “I think you’re ready for a Sinatra one, now!”

“Didn’t we just dance to Sinatra?”

“Nope! This is actually Dean Martin, poor guy always get mistaken by Sinatra for some reason when it comes to his song _Sway_” Cecil shrugs and pulls away from Carlos to change the vinyl on the record player. “Are you ready to learn to dance to the beat of _A Nightingale Sang In Berkley Square_?”

“Yeah!”

They danced some more, while the night continued on and Khoshekh slept soundly on the couch. Sometime later, they were both sitting on the couch again, the kitty between them. Cecil had fetched some cold tea from the fridge and his laptop, the glasses rested in the coffee table and the laptop was quickly offered to Carlos.

“I showed you music that I like; now show me a song you like!”

“Well, you know I like indie…”

“I knooow, but I want to see an example! I like indie too, but I guess we don’t listen to the same bands, you had no idea who Eliza Rickman was until I showed you one of her songs”.

“Well, excuse me for liking _mainstream _indie, mister!” that gets a laugh out of Cecil, making Carlos smile at the sound. “I dunno… hm, oh wait, I got it, you’re going to love this one!” he quickly types in something on the You Tube search engine and picks the first result. “I really love this song, it’s one of my favorites” he explains as the music starts and he leaves the laptop on the coffee table once again.

_Oh, to see without my eyes the first time that you kiss me, boundless by the time I cried, I built your walls around me…_

Cecil stares off into the nothingness, taking in the music, Carlos guesses.

“Do you like it?” he asks, after a few moments of just the music sounding.

“It’s a sweet song” he admits, “it’s there a particular reason as to why you like it?”

“Oh, I don’t know, it’s… cute, I guess, we live in a world where a love like ours is not usually seen that way, but in the song it’s a pure, innocent first love and I don’t know, I like it. I like seeing it like that”, he looks up at Cecil, realizing that he is rambling, but his boyfriend is smiling, his eyes bright and soft. “Can I ask you for something?”

“Of course, dearest, anything you want”.

“Can you… kiss me?” Cecil freezes and Carlos gets one of his usual _regretting ever learning how to talk in the first place_ moments. “Oh, my gosh, I’m sorry, that was too rushed, wasn’t it? We just met tonight for the first time, I- I don’t know what I was think-!” a gentle hand lifts his chin up, forcing him to meet Cecil’s eyes, but he just tears his gaze away from his handsome boyfriend’s face, his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. There’s a silence between them, only the music playing.

_The first time that you touched me… oh, will the wonders ever cease? Blessed be the mystery of love._

“Do you want me to kiss you?”

“Ye-yes…, I mean! I want to, but only if you want to kiss me too”.

“Silly, Carlos, I have been waiting so long for this… I would’ve kissed you right then and there when I saw you at the club, I would’ve kissed you goodbye in the train station the night you left town, I would’ve kissed your tears away that night you called me and asked me to be your boyfriend…” he trails off and the hand that is holding his chin moves to cup his cheek, caressing his lips with his thumb. He can see the curiosity sparkling in Carlos’ eyes. “It’s just… you told me that I’m your first boyfriend and that you have never felt this way with anyone, I don’t want you to feel rushed to do things, I want you to go at your own pace”.

“Please, _please_, rush me, Cecil” usually he would rather eat dirt than bear his insecurities to _anyone_, he even has trouble telling it to Dave, who is his _best friend_, for heaven’s sake, but here with Cecil he feels safe, comfortable, like he could tell him anything and Cecil would stay, like Cecil would _understand_ on a level no one else can. “I’m so indecisive… I’m not good at taking decisions… I… I sometimes get too excited and maybe I’m rushing or maybe I’m going too slowly, I don’t know, I need you to tell me, Cecil…” he swallows; a knot is starting to form in his throat.

Cecil shushes him gently, preventing from getting _too_ worked up; he is already halfway there though. His boyfriend already had a chance to run away, he reminds himself, he had _several_ chances, and he didn’t take a single one, that should mean something, right? He frowns, why is he so insecure?! Cecil had nothing but words of praise for him since the day they met, why does he always think that he is going to leave him? Maybe it’s the years in the catholic school repeating that people who are like him _don’t _get happy endings, maybe the years of getting bullied and being convinced that he is not good enough for anything or anyone, or maybe even that little incident where an ex-roommate he and Dave had (who dropped out within a month of staying) tried to be funny and say that he was a _handful_ and _good luck to your future partner_.

“We don’t need to rush, we will go at your pace” he explains, as he inches closer to his face, their lips brush against one and another and Carlos can swear he just felt an electric jolt on his lips. “Don’t worry about going too fast or too slow, every relationship has it’s own pace” he reassures him, thumbs stroking his cheeks. “Stop comparing everything we do with what you have been taught about dating, okay? We are an unconventional couple after all, wouldn’t you agree?” he nods. “Good, stop worrying, dearest”.

Cecil kisses him then, fully pressing their lips together, his heart beats faster, his cheeks flush and, above all, he can feel warmth spreading through his chest, he could catalogue each one of those reactions, he can explain them and still be amazed that they all came from a single skin to skin contact. When they part, Cecil presses their foreheads together.

“I love you, Cecil” he murmurs, not really looking at him, but feeling the _need_ to utter those words, Cecil just had to know.

“I know, I love you too, my Carlos”.

The time for seriousness and promises has certainly passed, now Carlos and Cecil are too busy for that. The young scientist is pouting adorably and tugging on his boyfriend’s t-shirt, trying to make him fall into the bed next to him, to no avail. They’re both laughing, enjoying their little game. Carlos is trying not to, but every time he tries to suppress his giggles, he ends up bursting into laughter anyway.

“You’re going to end with a ripped t-shirt if you kept that up” he complains, huffing when his boyfriend wouldn’t budge, how is he even doing that? Cecil is taller, yes, but Carlos has advantage on the weight department, he then decides to change strategy and hug Cecil’s waist. “_Cecil_” he whines.

They were tired from the long day they had and decided it was time to head to bed. However, Cecil was being chivalrous and told Carlos he would be the one to use the bed while he sleeps on the couch with Khoshekh. The young scientist isn’t having any of it, how could he agree to let Cecil sleep anywhere else but his own bed? It’s ridiculous.

“Cecil, you have a king size bed, we both perfectly fit in here, I know I’m not exactly the most fit of guys but I swear I won’t crush if I happen to roll over during the night!” Cecil bursts into laughter at this and Carlos smiles victoriously.

“Okay, okay” he agrees. “Just let me refill Khoshekh’s water bowl for the night and I’ll be right back”.

“You promise?”

“Yes, dearest, now let go, c’mon”.

In less time than expected, Cecil is back in the room, closing the door behind him (he usually leaves it open in case Khoshekh wants to come in for cuddles, but not tonight, since someone else has requested cuddles from him). Carlos opens up the covers for him as he turns off the lights and _finally_ gets into bed. They cuddle close, wrapping their arms around each other.

They share a couple more of lazy kisses as they lay together in bed, they start to last longer and longer, when they part, Cecil smiles at him and brushes his hair out of his eyes. Carlos can’t help but to giggle, before he buries himself in Cecil’s chest.

“Can I play with your hair?”

“Sure”.

He had never liked it when people played with his hair, with some exceptions, like his siblings, especially Agustina who loved to braid it when it was longer. Cecil gently cards his long fingers through his curls, making him smile. His boyfriend’s hand eventually stills and, when Carlos moves a bit to get a look at Cecil’s face, he finds out that he has fallen sleep.

He replays the day over in his mind, yeah there’s some stuff to cringe about (lots of things could have been worded better and there are things that would have been easier had he charged his goddamned phone), but all in all is not a bad day at all, he is here, in between of the arms of the man he loves and that’s pretty awesome in itself. Plus, the things he told Cecil, about being insecure and all that? Now that those are out of the way, he can concentrate in being a good boyfriend.

Carlos considers himself capable of that, he considers himself a good friend to Roch, Nils and Dave, so there’s no reason why he can’t be a good boyfriend to Cecil as well. Yes, they’re different things, but he will try his best to be good at it like he is good at science. He can’t be the handsome trophy boyfriend Cecil would brag about to people, BUT he can be the boyfriend that’s there for Cecil when he is feeling down, the one that can take him to cute dates and the one who would be there to celebrate good times too, he can do that, he is sure of it. Smiling with determination, he presses a chaste kiss to his sleeping Cecil’s cheek and what do you know? Cecil seems to sleepily smile back.

* * *

Carlos wakes up in the morning when the sun is shining high up in the sky, he stretches, groaning as he does so. The bed is empty, save for himself as he turns to lie in his back. Last night after, well… _everything_ (and the mere thought about last night’s events makes Carlos blush), he fell asleep with Cecil holding him close, so he understandably feels a tad bit lonely. He sits up.

“Cecil?” he asks, his voice still hoarse with sleepiness.

No response.

At the foot the bed, there’s a neatly folded pile of clothing, more specifically, a red flannel, a black sweater and dark blue jeans; his clothes. He takes them and starts getting dressed.

Once he is dressed, he heads to the kitchen where he is greeted by the smell of fresh coffee and the voice of Cecil as he talks on the phone. In that moment he discovers a previously unknown weakness regarding men in fancy button ups and slacks. He stands in the doorway as Cecil keeps ranting over the phone.

“No, Dana, I can’t go now! I’m _busy_! It’s… look, I will explain it to you, later-…! Wait, what?! Dammit! Ugh, fine, give me an hour and I will pick you up, call everyone, and tell them all hands on deck! I need Kareem and Chad to prepare the equipment, Maureen to prepare the topics for the interview and you to supervise them, what, no, of course you can! You’re in charge, Dana, I believe in you, I will pick you guys up in an hour, see you!” he hangs up and turns from where he was leaning against the counter and finds Carlos staring at him with curious eyes. “Oh, hi, there”.

“Hey” he smiles as Cecil pulls the chair away for him to sit. “What was that about?”

“Oh, well… Dana called me, there’s a big news story in the next town over, we have to hurry, otherwise another media could get the story, Leann Hart from _The Daily Gazette_ or _god forbid_, Lauren Mallard from Channel 13. We have an interview; the bosses had given us two hours to get the story”.

“It’s okay, don’t worry, you will get it”.

“It’s not that we won’t get it, the witness we’re interviewing had asked for us specifically, so that’s a given, but I wanted to spend the day with you…” he pouts and Carlos can’t help but smile at how adorable he looks. “Can we at least have breakfast before I leave? I can even drop you off at campus if you want?”

“Sure, anything you want, _querido_, don’t worry, I won’t magically forget you if we spend a couple hours apart, okay?”

They sit and drink coffee and eat vegan muffins together, time seems to slow down as they talk about nothing and everything.

The walk towards the elevator and then in the underground parking lot is silent, even if there are a lot of things Carlos is thinking of saying, maybe something like _I had a great time last night_ or _Thanks for letting me stay the night_, could even be something like _Would you like to go for lunch once you’re done with your news story?_

Again, he doesn’t manage to say anything. Instead he waits for Cecil to start talking as he unlocks the car and gentlemanly opens the door for him, he smiles, no one has treated him like this ever before, it’s… nice. He ignores the careless way the blond man throws his leathery messenger bag onto the backseat and concentrates instead on what he can say next as his boyfriend start the engine and exits the parking lot.

The fact that he can’t come up with anything is starting to frustrate him and worse, it’s making him nervous, he is twiddling his thumbs, just to have something to do with his hands, when his boyfriend speaks again.

“So…” he says once they’re driving down the street, Carlos turns to look at him, curiosity shining in his dark brown eyes, “unless it’s the first or the fifteenth of the month, I don’t work on Saturdays”.

“Yeah, I know”, he answers when Cecil pauses, smiling at his awkwardness, but not in a mocking way, rather in a fond way. Awkwardness and nerves are things he is intimately familiar with, they’re easy to recognize when someone else is wearing them.

“Right, so I don’t work this Saturday” he continues, “I was hoping you could join me for dinner?” it’s such an old-timey way of asking, it makes him smile wider. “I mean, unless you got other plans!”

During Saturdays, Carlos is either catching up on homework or with his more than probably fucked up sleep schedule, or even busy with what his sisters had affectionately dubbed as _Carlos’ nerdy stuff_, like binge-watching some series, or maybe playing videogames or even reading some comics, thanks to Nilanjana he recently got into mangas too. Coming to think of it, is the new issue of _Monochrome Limit _already out?

“Nope, no plans at all” it’s the answer he gives, “did you have something in mind?”

“I was thinking about that restaurant”, Cecil bites his lips as he passes the intersection, he knows the way towards the campus having picked up Dana and Maureen or even the boys a couple times from there to go to the station, despite having lived all his life in this town, he didn’t attend there to get his journalism degree, but rather to a college in the next two towns over… wait, didn’t Carlos say his family lived there? He lived there for five years when getting his degree and his masters, had they perhaps crossed each other before? While the part of him that is a hopeless romantic thinks they meeting before could mean they were simply meant to be, the rational part reminds him that two years ago when he was doing the extra year to get his master degree in journalism, if math isn’t failing him, Carlos was probably on his last year of high school, if they had started dating back them their relationship would have probably been frowned upon. “Maybe we should have met there in the first place”.

“We found it each other and that’s what matters”.

“No, I… I’m going to make it up to you, we changed the place because _I _asked you to, but don’t worry, Carlos, I would give you a real first date”.

“I like the one we had just fine”, he rolls his eyes. “I really did, you don’t have to _make up_ for anything to me, plus, you may have asked to change the place, but _I_ am the one who agreed and _I’m_ the one who forgot to charge his phone and that’s how the whole mess started” he argues, “if you want to take me out, sure, let’s do it, but acknowledge that our first date was what it was. It wasn’t perfect, but hey, someone once told me that things become perfect when you learn to accept them for what they’re”.

“You’re dork”.

“Yeah, but you love this dork”.

When Cecil parks outside the university gates, they both turn to stare at each other. Carlos doesn’t miss the way his lips part when he looks at him. They just stare, expecting that the other will say something… anything.

“Well… this is me”, he awkwardly says, but doesn’t moves; he doesn’t want to leave Cecil’s side, as clingy as it sounds.

“Uh-huh”.

“I should probably go and continue working on one of my projects and do some science, y’know?” he tries to sound neutral as he scratches his neck, “and you have an story to catch, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but, uh, I will call you later!” he promises and Carlos smiles.

Trying not to dwell in it too much, because otherwise he is going to chicken out, he leans forwards and kisses Cecil on the lips, just once, just gently. They’ve kissed last night, yes, but to him, given that this is his first relationship and all, every kiss is unique and amazing and, why did he wait so long for this, again?

They part and smile, before Carlos quietly exits the car.

He feels unable to stop smiling all the way towards the dorm, he does bite his lips and tries to hold it because there are some people around campus and just smiling at nothing while you walk is weird, but whatever.

“Look who decided to show up!” he hears behind him, but he is so far gone in La La Land that he pays it no mind. “Hey, Carlos!”

“Uh??” the Venezuelan boy turns, the calling of his name is enough to shake him out of his love induced spell.

His friends are approaching him with knowing smiles, well Dave and Rochelle are, Nilanjana looks dead on her feet. Now that the four are together, they head back to the boys’ dorm, where they usually hang out while they talk about their nights. Dave has been on a date with Earl, they went to watch a movie and then to have dinner (it’s was Earl’s ex’s night with Roger), Rochelle had been working on a personal project she wanted to continue and Nilanjana, well…

“What’s his name, Nils?” Rochelle insists, eager to hear the answer as she sits next to Dave, who is lying in bed, looking ready to fall asleep. “You can’t just say you’re dating a Religious Studies major and leave it at that!”

“Why are you even doing that? We’re scientists; we hate everything they stand for”.

“What the heck, Dave? We do not! Everyone gets to have their own beliefs and their own interpretations of the exciting fact that is existence” Carlos declares, sitting cross-legged in his own bed, holding the huge Tsum-Tsum Winnie Pooh plush toy Dave brought him from Disney in his arms.

“Sorry, I’m sleepy and I say weird stuff when I’m sleepy, you know this, Carlos” he says and he nods.

“I do”.

“I’m sleepy too” Nilanjana complains.

“A nap would be really scientific right now” Rochelle suggests, amused. “Move your ass and make some space, Dave”.

“A nap it is then” Dave agrees, moving and allowing the girl to get under the covers.

“Sweet dreams, y’all!” Carlos says, before he too gets under the covers, Nilanjana not even bothering to do so as she rests her head on the pillow next to him.

Before he falls asleep, the last thing in Carlos’ mind is how happy he feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! Next one will be the epilogue for this story <3!


	8. Meetings and tales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And they lived happily ever after...

Carlos gives the finishing touches to the couch, moving the fluffy cushions around. Cecil is coming over tonight for dinner, they will have the dorm to themselves, since Dave is spending the night at Earl’s place. He goes into the bathroom to check his clothes and hair, is the first time Cecil comes to the dorm, since they usually just go out when they have a date.

Someone knocks on the door and he rushes to answer, but it’s not who he is expecting.

“_¡Hola, Carlos!_” the three of them say at the same time.

“Oh, my god!” he exclaims delighted, unable to keep the smile of his face as he steps aside to let them in. “Mama? Papa? Fabi? What are y’ all doing here? Come in, come in! The girls aren’t with you?”

“I’m afraid not, _dulzura_” his mother says, taking off her coat as her husband helps their youngest child to take off his own. “The girls stayed back home, but they told me to give you a lot of kisses and hugs for them, sorry that we dropped by without warning, but we wanted to surprise you!”

“It’s a great surprise” he admits, still smiling, his brother in his arms. “I thought I wasn’t going to see you guys until Thanksgiving!”

“We couldn’t wait that long, _mijo_” his father says, smiling as he sits on the couch.

“We missed you lots, Carlos!” Fabian says hugging him close.

There’s a knock on the door.

“Oh…” Carlos says, realizing who is knocking, he blushes a bit. “Wait here, I… I want you guys to meet someone”

Rosa sits next to her husband in the couch, their son coming to sit with her. She stares as her eldest son opens the door to a very well-dressed blond blue-eyed young man who is holding a bouquet of roses, she sees as the blond smiles and kisses her son’s cheek, telling him he bought the flowers because they remind him of Carlos because of their beauty. Her son blushes and turns to look at them, the man follows his gaze and looks taken aback.

“Ah, sorry, hello” he says, politely, as Carlos takes his hand to lead him in, before closing the door behind him.

“Mama, Papa, Fabi, this is my boyfriend Cecil…” he introduces him, smiling. “Cecil, these are my parents and my younger brother”.

“Well, I would have dressed up a bit more if I knew I would be meeting your family, regardless of that, it’s a pleasure to meet you all”.

“Oh, don’t worry, we didn’t tell Carlos we were coming” Rosa says, “it’s lovely to meet you, we have heard so much wonderful things about you! Are you two hungry? We brought some food”.

* * *

“…and what happened after that?” the young boy asks, clutching a stuffed giraffe toy.

“Then they dated for a couple more years, one of them got a degree, then they got married and _then_ they had a beautiful, sweet son who they love to the moon and back…” Cecil answers, caressing the boy’s hair. “I think that brings us up to date, ready to sleep, Esteban?” The boy yawns, unable to answer, his eyelids already dropping. “Huh, I think that’s a yes. Papa should come in to give you a good night kiss then”, he turns to the doorway of the jungle themed bedroom, where Carlos has been leaning as his now husband retold their love story.

“_Buenas noches, cariño_” the scientist murmurs as he presses a kiss to his son’s forehead.

Cecil can’t help but smile when he sees Esteban peacefully sleeping with his giraffe, that was a gift from Rosa and Mauricio when the little boy was just a baby, as he turns off the light and closes the door.

Carlos is smiling when he looks at him and, even if it’s has been years, he still feels like he did that day on the college library when he saw him with his friends for the first time.

“It’s still early, do you want some tea?” Carlos murmurs, smiling.

“Yeah” he answers, smiling back.

They make their way down the stairs to the kitchen, where Carlos prepares the tea as Cecil gets some cookies from the cupboard and once everything is settled, they cuddle on the couch in front of the muted television, planning on enjoying the rest of the night. Tomorrow, Carlos will be travelling with Dave to a scientific convention they both are scheduled to give talks at, due to a project they released last year; he will be gone for a week or so.

Cecil’s eyes wander over to a vitrine in which they keep a few of his journalism awards he has won over the years and one prize he got for his radio drama, along with some of Carlos’ certificates and other various recognitions, he just knows that, if that talk goes right, they will probably will be adding another one by the end of the year.

“You know…” he says, out of nowhere, “after the fact, I did regret sending you that note”, Carlos cocks an eyebrow. “When we met I mean, all I could think was _oh, my god, he is going to think I’m a stalker or a creep, what have I done? _But when you answered… I don’t think I have ever been more relieved or flattered in my life.” Carlos laughs and Cecil can’t help but think he needs to be kissed then and there so he does, and then, when they part, he presses their foreheads together. “I wouldn’t change a thing, you know? You and Esteban are the best that ever happened to me, you two are my whole world.”

“I get what you mean, I’m so glad I got your note, even more so that I got the courage to answer you” he smiles as he says it and then his phone rings over the coffee table, he rolls his eyes, “must be Dave, he did say he would call, to arrange the last things for tomorrow, I swear he is worrying enough for the both of us.”

Carlos picks up and goes to talk in the other room, Cecil smiles as he picks up his forgotten but lukewarm teacup.

Yeah, he wouldn’t change a thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our last chapter, everyone! I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it <3!
> 
> I want to thank everyone for…
> 
> ...your kudos: miles_thetrashcan, Cutiepie120048, CriesInSpanishYoon, youmockussir, xxxMartinixxx, Sandwich2536, BlazingWolf, TheAceBean, Dreams_of_Electric_Sheep, punsandpodcasts, RamdomReader, KitsuneTails25, Coolcass43, treeprince, HopeStoryteller, Queen_Belix, YallReadyForThis, Karpuzi, VellichorVaults, Kryera, IncomprehensibleQueer, earlharlans, caspercadaver, Tiponya, MerrythePhouka, G0ldenseal, SpikedTequila, Raquel71558, MeaningofLife42, GuardianOfYggdrasil, writevale, MisumenaVatia and the 20 guests
> 
> ...your comments: CriesInSpanishYoon, Jackalshepherd and SoupStealer1987
> 
> As for what comes next, I recently finished my other WTNV fanfic: From Venezuela. with Love. I am also working on a series over at The Magnus Archives’ Fandom, under the name “Cobwebs in the archives” and it’s first instalment “Tales From Another Archive” is almost complete (only one more chapter to go as of the date of this update).  
See you around <3


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